Contempt for Louise L. Hay

[Harmony]

Just my own opinion and not that of isurvive:


It seems like Ms Hays premise is to blame the victim for all abuse, cancer and other unavoidable hardships. It is not helpful especially for children or those harmed as children to take "responsibility" for their part in this. It not helpful to those struck with cancer due to an aberrant gene, a silent rogue cell or stealth infection to take "responsibility". NOT HELPFUL Ms Hays.

What is important is how we stand up act strongly and wisely when terrible things happen or dealing with life long pain. It is important to not be immobilized. What is important is to not pass the harm on to others. The important thing is to do what we must to heal.

No amount of 'woo-woo' is going to cure me, take away the pain of the past or make illness stop occurring. What will help is my own work in therapy, medicine and plain old healthy living.


Again just my opinion.
Harmony

[Xanthia]

Great sharing everyone, thanks for keeping things polite yet expressive.

Need to remember we each have unique perspective.

For anyone who recently joined iSurvive, who happens to really appreciate Ms Hay, that's an equally valid viewpoint.

Opinions expressed are purely personal experiences and thoughts.

Warm regards,

[there]

Ok, saw this thread reappear.
I still don't believe Louise Hay gets it about abuse survivors or others who endure hardships. I will say this in her defense. It's something she said in response to this issue of her work giving a false message. She said that if anything she says doesn't work for you to just disregard it.
This *disclaimer*, however, isn't offered with the work in general, or everybody would know it. It wouldn't be a big issue.
Also, she could go into into this provision more deeply and pointedly, and by any means available to her make that statement very public.
She is hardly alone in this approach. Many persons with disabilities or misfortunes in places where reincarnation is a belief are socially shamed or worse because it's believed that if they are suffering now, it must be karma from a previous life of evildoing. I even read something from a healer who said that a rape victim now was a rapist in a past life.
Assuming that LHay has had a lot of negative feedback on this, I feel it's on her to amend her system of affirmations or at the very least, provide consumers with a meaningful disclaimer.

[Jayne]

Hello all ,

I like to look at it like we chose to go from being a soul in heaven to coming to earth to be alive and experience all that
being human has to offer that includes the painful as well. That's how I equate a conscious choice or choosing parents or
struggles we have. I look at it like that doesn't let my parents off the hook for not doing right things by me. They have
responsibilities and make choices too or suffer consequences as well.

Nobody chooses what we have gone through..

[freefromlies]

Already responded to this thread but have strong emotional response to anything along the lines of the new age spirituality ideas of unconditional love, forgiveness, personal responsibility and so on. My understanding is very much in conflict with these ideas because I agree with Alice Miller's thesis about behaviour and trauma and the personal unconscious. I always feel so disappointed and betrayed when I read author's such as Louise Hay or Scott Peck and perhaps Judith Orloff who seem to believe that individuals have control over their negative feelings, as if depression is a choice, when in fact it is the body's response to psychological mechanisms such as repression of affect (emotions) and memories which results in the tragedy of self alienation. I feel these books have a place and are helpful to many people but personally feel misled by people who think along these lines. In my own case, attempting forgiving others only blocked my access to my own tragedy and my authentic feelings, for example, rage! Therefore, therapeutically, see no benefit to this injunction.

[freefromlies]

More on forgiveness, to be clear. Read this morning that forgiveness/acceptance is a process not an event. I agree with this and that attempting forgiveness in my own case was not forgiveness it was "pseudoforgiveness", another denial mechanism to preserve my illusions about being unconditionally loved as a kid. This only prolonged my self alienation and suffering by blocking access to my feelings. Have learned that controlling my feelings and thoughts is pointless and a major battle for me is to access these feelings in context. If I am consciously angry at my abuser, my depression and anxiety symptoms reduce, and I regain clarity of mind. Also, my displaced emotion is no longer displaced, for example, hatred directed at myself or innocent people... Feel very strongly that negative emotion in the context of trauma must be experienced consciously to reach the grief stage of recovery. I write about this but I am not there yet, still emotionally blocked or "frozen"; depressed, anxious and all the rest.

[Xanthia]

Hi freefromlies,

You make 2 extremely important points :

1. We are each on a journey called Life and have unique perspective and experience.

2. Being introduced to ideas that could be helpful (such as forgiveness) is a process which might be useful only when/if we are ready and capable to investigate and perhaps do much digging around … reminds me of learning a new task such as music - it's sooo difficult at first but, after lots of rehearsal and encouragement, becomes easier. Or making a deep hole in order to support a skyscraper.

For me, there can be a very long lapse (as in years!) between learning intellectually something that other people have discovered to be great strategies/techniques and being able to consent on my emotional level, to put those ideas into daily living.

It's also OK to NOT incorporate new information. Or try then discard. Or adapt/modify. Or blend various concepts..... As long as changes are positive and work for individuals today. People's needs tend to be fluid, particularly regarding healing, so what is really the best help now could become not as beneficial in the future.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Appreciated.

[Jayne]

Hi freefromlies

I do hear you when it comes to the rage been there too..