still going on

This is a place for old members to come and share how their healing journeys have progressed.
Its also a place for those members to reconnect and share their experiences.

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VAC
Member
Posts: 703
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:16 am

Re: still going on

Post by VAC » Sun Mar 08, 2020 4:11 am

Hello,

I often dream...much of it is mental run off; sometimes it is very symbolic and also literal.

I have taken to afternoon naps several days a week, which are most refreshing to me. After a lifetime of insomnia it is a gift.

I rarely have dreams of a sexual nature, but today had one that was not graphic, and I won't go into details, but it explained to me the mechanics of generational incest. I have considered before that this was possibly a plague in my family for some time.

The essentials of this dream as I had it were a victim, an abuser both riding on the back of an enabler. That is something I have seen before but it was just so plain in this dream. It was unsettling and I have been very quiet the rest of the day.

I thank God that this stopped and pray it will never cross my generations again.

I confided in a relative part of our struggle as a family, and it unnerved them. They have been distant since then. I know he spoke to another one of my few cousins. She is older than me but told me that we should all get together and talk about "our secrets".

I am wired to mourn for loss and heartache...it is a part of love and life, and quiet honestly, I think it is a personally healthy thing mentally.

Today was sort of like forensic pathology and I did take a nose dive for a couple of hours. I do so enjoy life. I never banked on being old or knowing what I know now, but even so, this has been a journey that is not yet done.

There is so much the darkness would like to be fatal. I refuse to be killed anymore. I will be comforted and healed and will try to comfort others.

I believe this is the positive inheritance of survivors. WE live.
Last edited by Harmony on Sun Mar 08, 2020 6:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited from ST to MT, as some triggering detail is included

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