still going on

This is a place for old members to come and share how their healing journeys have progressed.
Its also a place for those members to reconnect and share their experiences.

Moderators: Harmony, ajei

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Posts: 691
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:16 am

Re: still going on

Post by VAC » Mon Oct 28, 2019 4:07 am


These are strange times for me....old friends skirting death, others dying.

At the same time I have to fight distancing myself from the family and friends around me. I can actually go to that place I ran as a child and their voices become distant to me.

I am very much a social creature, but at the same time could dwell in a remote place.

Fall has come to us from the 90's and 100'a down to 70's to 80's and some are blooming again.

I have received an offer to "go public" again and have mixed feelings, but don't want to self-sabotage as I have in past. I need to lose weight and change my image a bit. I I walked away from a world I had constructed for years almost a decade ago to come inside and deal with the years oi lost memory in myself and my daughter.

Perhaps it is time to go back.

I know all that sounds nebulous.....if there has ever been a man that displays cognitive dissonance I can be the poster child. I am able to garden a bit now which gives me great comfort. I know my wife thinks I slip and is worried about the future.

at the same time she is dealing with both her parents at end of life, and both of them hate her if you go by their words and actions. It has her stirred up and she as well has many years of blocked memories.

I am working to maintain and grateful and positive outlook. I am wired to go on and so I shall.

Posts: 13380
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: still going on

Post by Fleur » Wed Oct 30, 2019 1:56 pm

Hello VAC

Great to read the season has changed, cooled somewhat, and you are enjoying being in your garden

I feel for your wife - those messages cut horribly deep. May she have ways to let it slide as much as possible. Very difficult

Regardless of whether you accept the offer to be more public, losing extra pounds will probably help you in various respects - "to thine own self be true"

Much caring
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur

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