still going on

This is a place for old members to come and share how their healing journeys have progressed.
Its also a place for those members to reconnect and share their experiences.

Moderators: Harmony, ajei

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wolfspirit
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Posts: 1663
Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2017 8:56 pm

Re: still going on

Post by wolfspirit » Fri Nov 30, 2018 2:31 am

VAC,
I am glad that you share and journal your journey. It helps me understand the ebb and flow of healing.
Also glad that post was not deleted this time. :)

I thought that story of your mother in her sun suit was both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Time and memory are such strange things in that they can incite so many feelings on their own.

I won't worry about you, but I do send comforting hugs, if okay. We carry our pain our whole lives and need others to help us bear it.

take care,

ws
Wounds are where the light enters you.
Rumi

VAC
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Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:16 am

Re: still going on

Post by VAC » Wed Dec 19, 2018 5:01 am

Thanks W.S.

I have not been in denial about the betrayal I got from my folks.....I have been shocked at how deep it runs. It is not hatred, but like a rupture of the soul.

I am much better, but as my wife and I have discussed in past, neither of us can fathom harming our children or grandchildren.

When I feel the need, and I mean on a therapeutic/cathartic level, I go to the family cemetery and just stare at the stones. I have wondered what madness compelled them I know nothing about.

some travel, much to think about. Taking some bold steps that are probably 20 years late.


I see people's faces: this world is full of hurting people: fortunately most hurting people don't hurt.

I run from me and from the past, but I am gaining by degrees.


VAC
Last edited by Harmony on Thu Dec 20, 2018 12:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT due to no triggering language

VAC
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Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:16 am

Re: still going on

Post by VAC » Sat Dec 29, 2018 5:07 am

Hello,

For the first time in several years, I have not offered a word of comfort to those who do not find the holidays welcome due to bad memories and sorrowful present circumstances. For this I apologize.

Suicide increases at times when people are supposed to "feel good" but don't.

I have noticed in the passage of my life, that inevitably there is some sadness or tragedy that seems to try to quench well-being and joy at times of year and life that should be traditionally full of peace and happiness. We experienced the sudden death of a family member on the first birthday of one of our children. The rush was to memorialize the senseless death with the birthday.

That did not happen.


One of the things we have tried to do is to establish our own traditions now, having been surgically relieved of the burden of family ties and expectations.

I am sincerely and deeply sorry for anyone who sits alone and remembers unthinkable things when the whole world seems to be rejoicing. I believe there is a special place of peace for people who mourn. I have had a few friends diagnosed with cancer that actually turned out to be scar tissue. I can live with scar tissue.


If you are alone, or in an unpleasant housing situation, take a couple of bucks and a book, and get a cup of coffee. Sit and watch the people. I imagine their lives, what their facial expressions mean. I have no problem speaking to strangers when I want to and I feel they would like to converse. Many people older than me have no interaction with others and a trip out to the grocery or for a coffee are their only connections to the world around them....

I hope each of you has some one to say Happy New Year to this year and that 2019 will be a year of healthy growth and peaceful healing for each of you.
Last edited by VAC on Sun Dec 30, 2018 4:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Fleur
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Posts: 12740
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: still going on

Post by Fleur » Sat Dec 29, 2018 6:04 am

Hello VAC


Thank you for insightful writing. I have been in a dark place some years, so appreciate your thoughtfulness

May you also have a wonderful healthy 2019 as you express in your last paragraph


Much caring
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur

VAC
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Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:16 am

Re: still going on

Post by VAC » Sun Dec 30, 2018 4:11 am

Fleur,

Thanks....you know occasionally I heed my own advice.

Today was such a day.

I am sorry the last several years have been a dark time for you.

The comfort of the soul.....peace to every storm.

V.

earthhorse
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Posts: 1350
Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:12 pm

Re: still going on

Post by earthhorse » Sun Dec 30, 2018 3:10 pm

Thank you so much VAC.

I aspire to your dignity and peace.

But so grateful for the love, wisdom and compassion you always show.

You truly demonstrate how and why life is worth living.

Thinking of you too mourning, reconciling all the loss with the living. For every wound a thousand, thousand simple loving moments of solace and joy.

EH
"One kind word can warm three winter months" - Japanese Proverb

Fleur
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Posts: 12740
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: still going on

Post by Fleur » Sun Dec 30, 2018 8:42 pm

Happy New Year VAC
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur

VAC
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Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:16 am

Re: still going on

Post by VAC » Fri Jan 04, 2019 2:39 am

….thank you, Fleur.

VAC
Member
Posts: 656
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:16 am

Re: still going on

Post by VAC » Fri Jan 04, 2019 2:48 am

To all in the UK,

Several years ago, America plummeted to number 55 in the nations of the world as far as truth in media....I see the chaos in our own country, and what the news reports about the UK.

You probably know more about what goes on here than most Americans.

My heart and thoughts for all of you are peace and safety in the very difficult decisions and transitions that appear there.

Thanks to all who have labored to make this site possible, a special gift to us all.

V.

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