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afraid to tell

Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2017 6:23 pm
by mikyak
so yes I'm new onsite and not ready to tell my story.. but I find comfort in writing and poems. so here is a little something about me and how I feel and at times cope....Blood on my arm its cold as is drains, makes me feel a bit better as it easies the pain. I can't seem to cope so I take the blade to my hips, the initials is scrap as I watch the blood .. Red as life and clod as death, that's what I saw with your one last breath, scars on my arms, my legs and my hips. Words that I whisper just comes from my lips, I hate that you left me, the fact that you died. you left me alone your gone and you lied. now i'm stuck with this pain inside. I can't seem to run, I can't seem to hide. Why cant I keep the ones I adore? I want to love them less but I just love them more. And the ones that have hurt me, justs keeps going on more and more. I've been told it gets easier It just takes time. I think that's stupid, a story from a mime. No sounds they make, no voices to hear just a whisper of a breath scary as silence...looks like death.

Re: afraid to tell

Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 4:34 am
by Harmony
mikyak,

This is lovely but really belongs in the Creative Writing Forum. So with your permission I will be moving this post in 24 hrs.

with care,
Harmony

Re: afraid to tell

Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 5:07 am
by mikyak
Of coarse I'm sorry . I'm good at messing things up

Re: afraid to tell

Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 11:33 pm
by reisha
hi mikyak

welcome to our safe lil corner of the web.

i want to say - please dont 'tell lies' about yerself. what i mean by that is ... when ya say 'im good at messing things up'. - ino all too well about those neg thots, sayings. & ino they are not true. sure, i can cite 'ample evidence' to support my untruths - by discounting & ignoring all the other things that counter my statements, that balance things more. for me, whats scary is that - ive found that the more i 'tell lies' like that about myself, the truer those lies become. its almost like prophecy. & i'd want for ya to NOT do to yerself what ive done to myself - tellin myself those ugly lies for so long that i not only believe em, but i act like em too - if only in my deepest, most quiet moments. it hurts my heart, to see ya say such things about yerself, to know that yer settin yerself up the same way i did. if ya can avoid that, ya'll save yerself.

about yer poem - while its quite 'brutal', i love the imagery, the raw emotion that comes thru. ya write quite well.

im sorry to know what-all ya've been thru, are dealin with.
sendin ya tons of support & compassion