Tomorrow, I Will Change

[Macfeegle]

Tomorrow, I Will Change

Tomorrow, I will change and
Something bad will happen to me.
I wish I could tell myself it was coming but
What do I know? It's tomorrow, after all.

I hope I can handle whatever it is, but
I'm afraid it will be too much.
I wish I could warn myself that
It will tear my life apart.

I wish I'd know not to get
Myself into trouble.
But I don't know what I'll do wrong – so wrong –
That I'll deserve it all.

It just hit me! Tomorrow decided
To show up yesterday instead, but
That didn't really change anything,
I'm still all torn apart.

It kind of snuck by me, in the night, I guess.
It climbed from midnight, through the afternoon,
And crept past me through the new
Morning and crawled past midnight again.

I swear I didn't see it go by,
It was too stealthy and decided
To wreck today by climbing into yesterday.
It was too impatient to wait, I guess.

When it got there, it must have
Perked up its ears and smiled.
It saw all the pain and weakness and blindness
I was already carrying.

It must have shone with delight,
Cackling when it saw all the other yesterdays
Already filled with terror and humiliation.
“It's still just a boy!" it must've said to itself, "This'll be easy.”

It probably sat down for a few minutes and
Wrote it all out on a napkin, or something, thinking,
“How can I tailor this to hit
All the weak points just right?”

It sure knew its business!
All those yesterdays,
So full of disintegration and panic, it
Just corralled them together.

I don't know how it did it, but
It fattened them up so much they spilled
All the way from yesterday and
Burst through to today.

“What kind of trick is that?” I ask,
Or would, if my mind wasn't pushed into tomorrow.
So now I'm stuck in tomorrow, and
I'm scared of what lurks here.

What stalks silently around me,
Ready to sneak past into my yesterdays again
And force me ahead, ahead, ahead through all the tomorrows
Until it finally pushes me past the last?

[SweetestGirl]

That is amazing,Macfeegle. It's painful to read but it is so well written. I hope that your tomorrows' shine brightly.

Kind regards and good thoughts to you,

SG