Musings

[FrumSurvivor]

I have fear
of what's unclear
of whats unknown
of whats not shown
I guess I'm scared
my future's unclear
and I'm afraid
oh so afraid!!
i need to know
to feel empowered
but it isn't meant to be
i'm supposed to not know
have no clue where i'm headed
and i guess
learn to cope, hope
and trust
that somehow it's all for my good
and with a plan
that has my
best interests in mind
although sometimes it seems that way
and sometimes just NOT

It's hard to trust
when my heart hurts so much
and my soul wants to cry out
for all the pressure it's under
and the work I am doing
to build myself
and yet be kind the others
while trying so hard
to be kind to myself
and put myself first
although they think I am selfish for it
my heart and my brain
are in pain
but yet i plow on
and live and laugh
and try to take it all
witha grain of salt
and stop being so utterly serious
to take the edge off the pain
i wish I could see
what the future will bring
so i won't have to worry
about the unknown
i've seen it all
and yet
there are always more hardships to face
and new relationship issues to work through
and more shame and guilt
that remind me of the old
and anger and pain
that are stuck inside me
for an interminable amount of time
I'm working towards freedom
let's pray it's in G-d's plan
and cautiously hope
i wish i knew the future
but i pray it's worth knowing

[dancingfish]

What a wonderful piece of writing, thank you so much for sharing. :)