Self-Harm

[shalee]

This is something I was never telling anyone but I feel like I’m coming undone
Cutting is one thing this isn’t the same it makes me feel dirty and ashamed
Pleasure is what I’m trying to obtain then why do I have to inflict pain
It’s embarrassing for me to say that I hurt myself in this way
I don’t understand and I’m tied up in knots by my actions and my thoughts
My actions make no sense but it’s what I do when things get tense
I use things that cause me pain but I’m the only one to blame
The thought of this is too much that I hurt myself with my touch
When it’s over and I’m all done I cry alone and I want to run
This is hard and I had my doubt if I wanted to let this one out

[godiva]

shalee,

i see how your SH affects you.
it's an intense poem, thank you for sharing

godiva

[recover]

hi shalee,
that is a very expressive and deep poem. and i relate too much. way too much. i often have told T that the only one who ever abused me or sexually abused me is me. so it is all my fault. and he says that is not true. you are not the one to blame. yes, we need to work hard to heal, but you are not to blame. it is not "your fault". T told me that i didn't get into this all by myself even though i think i did, and that i don't have to get out of this all by myself. i found that comforting.
thanks for sharing. very brave.
love,
recover

[facingmytruth]

sending you much support.