Seizure Dance

[teapot]

Self mutilation
spiritual flagellation.
The meat and the teeth,
staph abyssal wound.
You retract from my gnawing hell.
I wish for your love,
fairytale ugly little smear
that I can't decipher anyway,
a postcard greeting.
Every word is fleeting
and I am dying.
Sexual confusion
black and blue contusions
of every pornographic image I have seen.
Plastic Barbie smiles
with fake extremities,
male hunched over
each thrust
still shocking,
so numbing to me,
Walking on glass barefoot in Hell.
Close the windows,
lock the doors.
I don't want to come out anymore.
Agoraphobic smile.
I won't see you for awhile.
You pull yourself away from my acid bath.
I don't blame you.
Night hysterics,
I am exhausted.
Dreams of rape, rapture, and bloodshed.
I have cried until I cannot lift my head.
I have cried until I cannot lift my arms.
Is the blood that I've shed not worthy for a moment's rest?
Why must I suffer so when I've tried beyond my means?
So I wither,
I cannot get up,
spiraling.
Parasitic neediness
killing the kindness of those around me.
I know I'm empty.
I know you grow bored of this pain.
I feel the cold of each death throe
piercing into my veins.
My shame is venom vials.
I rip my hair and tear my clothes,
sobbing like an abandoned child.
I do not expect make it much more
like a picture of a comatose woman on oxygen,
tubes and wires are her body now.
I am so broken.
Close the windows,
lock the doors,
I don't want to come out anymore.
Agoraphobic smile.
I won't see you for awhile.
The world outside burns.
It burns,
searing my pink flesh to ashes.
The people outside rip and tear at me,
wolf pack attack killing me.
Oh, what I wouldn't do
to be able to describe it all.
The march to Nan-king,
the destruction of my walls.
All my grief explodes and paralyzes me.
I am quite unsure of anything.

[HealingHearts]

Hi Teapot
sounds like you are unsure of many things but also sure of many
You captured so much of what I feel
self mutilation - Yep
spiritual flagellation - Yep
plastic Barbie doll - Yep
parasitic neediness - Yep
you grow bored of this pain - yep ... why can't I let it go?

Here and listening.
You are a very talented writer.
Sorry Little Teapot was hurt so. That was so wrong and bad.
Sending you heaps of goodness, kindness, peace and hoping a little makes it to you
you are not alone
HealingHearts

[teapot]

Thank you, it means so much to me.

[mercurial rivers]

teapot

not often are we left w/out words

we think poems need be read slowly, n just let 'em sink in

we get hungry.......as we read, hungrier n hungrier, as we are fed/sustained by poetry

so its hard to stop w/one n give it time it deserves

so, tho tempted to read more, having stumbled onto THIS one......yours.......

whew............

we witness, n thanks fer giving words/expression to the oft-unexpressable

gonna get out the thesauraus cuz badly need word OTHER than "amazing" ...which this rather is

also, am "glad" to see a place for expression of very hard stark truths


look forward to more.......n hope we dont "binge" w/its subsequent overload....gallows lol

m/rivers