Im getting blamed - I need a great book!

[Aspen]

HP435

Sending you much care and gentle support. We're here for you.

Aspen

[Sheep]

I lost my post.

Hi Kay,


One of the greatest gifts my husband gave me was to go to counseling himself. It wasn't to fix me, it was so he had an outlet and sounding board to understand me better...

What helped me was recognizing that forgiveness does not equal forgetness.
You're not alone.

Lydia

It's me, Sheep again here - lol. I would have to say that both of these statements are good thoughts. My father too was one of my original abusers - physically abusive. When I DID start to heal, I had requested that my ex not allow my dad to come into our home nor that we would be having my dad/mom over for any of our kids birthdays or holidays. He ignored this and let my dad into our entryway so my dad could give him a birthday card. All hell broke loose internally for me and I did not trust my husband anymore to be there for me during my healing process. It was NOT good. My ex would also go visit with my dad and watch sporting events on TV with him - it was such a betrayal at the time. Even our marriage counselor questioned his intent and continued 'relationship' with my dad. My ex gave me 3 yrs to heal. We did not make it. Hope things turn out differently for you and your wife, but I have also learned that I need to let go of outcomes through this healing process.

Take care,

Sheep