Help for my dear friend,newbie posting

A discussion area for anyone who loves a survivor and needs some support of their own.

Moderators: Jonesy, Ashia, Harbor

deepwest
Member
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2018 7:49 am

Re: Help for my dear friend,newbie posting

Post by deepwest » Fri Sep 07, 2018 7:15 pm

I do also have another question.
Where is everyone on this forum?
I seem to be practically the only one online?
I hope I don’t offend you by saying, I was expecting a few replies from different people with different histories and perspectives.
Anyway, it seems to a rather quiet group( at this time)

Harmony
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 4327
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:10 pm

Re: Help for my dear friend,newbie posting

Post by Harmony » Sat Sep 08, 2018 4:33 am

Dear deepwest,

You are right that there isn't a lot of "traffic" in the for our loved ones part of there forum. That maybe because most people seeking support are they themselves the recipients of child abuse. It is much more rare that someone will write in for someone else or as the partner of a survivor. So that is why you are getting only a few fellow posters responding. That said there are few resources for the partners of child abuse victims.

Hope that makes sense.

with care,
Harmony

the husband
Member
Posts: 437
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 6:11 am

Re: Help for my dear friend,newbie posting

Post by the husband » Sat Sep 08, 2018 7:34 am

Hey deepwest

No offense taken. As Harmony points out, most people are here seeking support for their own abuse. I wish there were more active loved ones too. I have chosen to be part of the change by checking in fairly often.

Some survivors do monitor this part of the forum as they are able, and some are kind enough to chime in as they feel able. I have observed that there are ways that make it easier for others to engage with us here:
  • Connect over shared experience. It's pretty common for loved ones to have have had some sort of trauma in their own lives, and it can be helpful to connect with others that way.
  • Ask smaller questions. Sometimes a wall of text is overwhelming.
  • Ask about what others have done in a situation, or what they wish had happened. People are often uncomfortable giving advice, but they may be more likely to relate an experience.
  • Avoid words or phrases that are open to misinterpretation. A reader may be particularly susceptible to negativity at the moment and may be put off.

deepwest
Member
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2018 7:49 am

Re: Help for my dear friend,newbie posting

Post by deepwest » Sat Sep 08, 2018 9:16 am

Thank you for all that gentle advice, Ive been on a huge learning curve and learnt so much.
Been reading so much about covert incest and disassociation ..all the trauma that comes from abuse.
It’s deeply saddening,however I’m glad I’m here
Knowledge is power.
Last edited by Harbor on Sat Sep 08, 2018 5:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT, as no triggering content included

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest