Child Abuse

Discussion area for adult survivors who are afraid they might hurt others physically, sexually, emotionally, and/or verbally. Also an area for those who have harmed someone physically, sexually, emotionally, and/or verbally and want to heal. Sexual addiction can also be discussed.

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NinjaGaiden
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Child Abuse

Post by NinjaGaiden » Sun Aug 20, 2017 7:35 pm

I have a question about this forum. I see a lot of people on other threads saying how evil pedophiles are but pedophilia is just a sexual attraction, unlike this thread where people are admitting to physically abusing animals and sexually abusing children, do they get reported to authorities? or are people being hypocrites by calling pedophiles evil yet pedophile does not equal rapist or molester yet people here are admitting to doing this....

1000miles
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Re: Child Abuse

Post by 1000miles » Sun Aug 20, 2017 9:02 pm

Hi NinjaGaiden,

It's not fair to villainize a person for having feelings they can't control, particularly when those feelings stem from abuse they suffered. On the other hand, I think it's important to recognize that pedophilia is the driving force behind a large amount of serious harm perpetrated against children every day. I feel certain that both of my abusers did what they did because they were pedophiles. They were gratifying a sexual drive. A sexual drive that, if fully gratified, leads to harming children, is a dangerous thing.

If a person experiences a desire for sex with children, that person might react by recognizing the danger of such a desire and taking steps to be safe. In that case, the person deserves to be supported in dealing with a difficult challenge--a challenge that he or she did not choose, a challenge which is likely caused by abuse he or she suffered in childhood. On the other hand, that person might react by validating the desire--by denying the danger, by calling it a bona fide sexual orientation, and so forth. In that case, it's fair to suppose that the person is dangerous to children and to herself or himself. In that case, the person is validating and nursing a desire--a drive--to behave in harmful ways. I was abused in childhood by adults in that condition. The harm I suffered was real harm, which seriously affected me throughout life.

1000miles

NinjaGaiden
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Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:22 am

Re: Child Abuse

Post by NinjaGaiden » Sun Aug 20, 2017 9:21 pm

1000miles wrote:
Sun Aug 20, 2017 9:02 pm
Hi NinjaGaiden,

It's not fair to villainize a person for having feelings they can't control, particularly when those feelings stem from abuse they suffered. On the other hand, I think it's important to recognize that pedophilia is the driving force behind a large amount of serious harm perpetrated against children every day. I feel certain that both of my abusers did what they did because they were pedophiles. They were gratifying a sexual drive. A sexual drive that, if fully gratified, leads to harming children, is a dangerous thing.

If a person experiences a desire for sex with children, that person might react by recognizing the danger of such a desire and taking steps to be safe. In that case, the person deserves to be supported in dealing with a difficult challenge--a challenge that he or she did not choose, a challenge which is likely caused by abuse he or she suffered in childhood. On the other hand, that person might react by validating the desire--by denying the danger, by calling it a bona fide sexual orientation, and so forth. In that case, it's fair to suppose that the person is dangerous to children and to herself or himself. In that case, the person is validating and nursing a desire--a drive--to behave in harmful ways. I was abused in childhood by adults in that condition. The harm I suffered was real harm, which seriously affected me throughout life.

1000miles
pedophilia still doesnt equal child molester or rapist, that's like saying heterosexual equals rapists, it's only a sexual attraction, but what is going on on this forum is far worse than pedophilia, it's people admitting to 1. Physically abusing animals. If there is going to be any hitting or killings of animals then humans need to keep the animal species out of it. 2. People here have already admitted to sexually and physically abusing others so why haven't the authorities been contacted about it for this? This is far more worse than pedophilia, this is committing a crime, pedophilia is simply a sexual attraction, that's it.

1000miles
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Re: Child Abuse

Post by 1000miles » Sun Aug 20, 2017 10:23 pm

Hi NinjaGaiden,

I agree that pedophilia does not equal abuse. I guess my point was that I think it's a precursor to a lot of abuse, and as such it should not be taken lightly.

I feel that people have come here to share in order to find support for healing from past things they may have done or considered, and for preventing any future perpetration. I think it must take extraordinary courage to share about having perpetrated abuse in the past. I applaud such courage. I'm glad this forum exists so that people can come together and help each other. Supporting each other is the goal.

Only you know how you feel. The impression I get is that you have confusion and conflicting feelings that you are trying to sort out? I feel for you. I send you good wishes for peace and clarity.

Again, I don't know whether this will be helpful, but I would like to make this observation. Childhood sexual abuse is bad. Pedophilia is a sexual attraction. Like all sexual attractions, it wants to be gratified. Gratifying it leads to abuse and exploitation of children. Given that abuse and exploitation of children is very harmful, it seems reasonable to me to treat pedophilia as something abnormal and dangerous. Pedophiles who are actively working to protect children and themselves deserve kudos and support for having made a difficult choice because it's the right choice.

Everyone deserves a chance to heal, as well as friendship and support along the way, and a safe place where survivors can work together and help each other. It seems to me that defending pedophilia as something normal or valid would be a step in the opposite direction from healing. It isn't "only" a sexual attraction. It's an insidious one. That's an important distinction for the safety of children everywhere.

1000miles

NinjaGaiden
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Re: Child Abuse

Post by NinjaGaiden » Sun Aug 20, 2017 10:42 pm

the truth is I don't care what these people did except when it comes to animals because they are of a different species so what are humans doing torturing and killing them? Physical Abuse of people? That ranges in culture, discipline in one country can be considered child abuse in another. I've seen parents hit their kids in front of police in other countries and they don't care but do that somewhere else and that's a different story. I will speak out when I see them saying negative things about pedophiles, hebephiles, etc... and at the same time they are doing the same exact thing and I am now talking about the ones who act.

Jonesy
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Re: Child Abuse

Post by Jonesy » Mon Aug 21, 2017 7:13 pm

Hi NinjaGaiden

As you know, the description of this forum is:
A discussion area for adult survivors who are afraid they might hurt others physically, sexually, emotionally, and/or verbally. Also an area for those who have harmed someone physically, sexually, emotionally, and/or verbally and want to heal. Sexual addiction can also be discussed.

isurvive is a place where those abused in childhood can come and work through their feelings in a safe and non-judgemental way. We offer each other support and understanding. If we are unable to do that, then it’s often better not to respond at all. Direct confrontation is not helpful.

I would like to remind you that you read and agreed to the following guideline regarding good participation skills:
We keep this discussion space productive by treating other participants appropriately. Be gentle with each other. Realize that every person who comes here has been injured or bruised, or is sensitive to those who are. Be cautious about accusations, or expressions of rage, at fellow participants.

I am glad that you do not walk in the shoes of those members genuinely posting in this forum who are trying to break the cycle of their past. I believe it take great courage to share these heavy thoughts and acknowledging our actions is the first step in making positive changes.
You are important
Email: jonesy@hush.com

NinjaGaiden
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Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:22 am

Re: Child Abuse

Post by NinjaGaiden » Tue Aug 22, 2017 12:37 pm

an area for those who have harmed... does it mean you have to report it to authorities? or is it just because it happened in the past then you don't? If it happened in the past it could have happened a week ago. I just don't like animals being hit or killed. I consider killing animals a crime. I'm against eating meat and hunting animals and wearing fur. But the law allows it, it doesn't allow killing or hitting animals though.

Jonesy
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Re: Child Abuse

Post by Jonesy » Tue Aug 22, 2017 3:16 pm

Hi NinjaGaiden

Again, as per the guidelines you confirmed you had read and agreed to:

Breaking the Cycle
Understand that isurvive.org may accept survivors who have offended in their past and are now breaking the cycle of abuse. It is vital that these survivors produce evidence to show they are actively participating in therapy, in a sex offender treatment program and/or have other appropriate support systems in place. This information would be treated confidentially as per applicable laws. Any admissions of current abuse against a child, or adult, may result in immediate banning and appropriate notification to law enforcement authorities will be made.

Mandatory reporting
As an anonymous site our priority is to provide a safe forum – we have extremely limited ability to act in a meaningful way should we suspect that a minor may be in danger. Site leadership would attempt to do what they could within their limited means.
You are important
Email: jonesy@hush.com

NinjaGaiden
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Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:22 am

Re: Child Abuse

Post by NinjaGaiden » Tue Aug 22, 2017 6:02 pm

Jonesy wrote:
Tue Aug 22, 2017 3:16 pm
Hi NinjaGaiden

Again, as per the guidelines you confirmed you had read and agreed to:

Breaking the Cycle
Understand that isurvive.org may accept survivors who have offended in their past and are now breaking the cycle of abuse. It is vital that these survivors produce evidence to show they are actively participating in therapy, in a sex offender treatment program and/or have other appropriate support systems in place. This information would be treated confidentially as per applicable laws. Any admissions of current abuse against a child, or adult, may result in immediate banning and appropriate notification to law enforcement authorities will be made.

Mandatory reporting
As an anonymous site our priority is to provide a safe forum – we have extremely limited ability to act in a meaningful way should we suspect that a minor may be in danger. Site leadership would attempt to do what they could within their limited means.
so it looks like I was right, all they have to say it was done in the past. Are people who are either pedophile or hebephile allow to make threads on this forum even though it's just sexual attraction they are talking about? I am sure there are people here who have either of those sexual attractions here.

Jonesy
Director
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Posts: 10329
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 1:44 pm

Re: Child Abuse

Post by Jonesy » Tue Aug 22, 2017 6:42 pm

Hi NinjaGaiden

Our forum is what it is and we are very proud of it. I'm sorry if isurvive doesn't feel like a good fit for you and suggest, if that's the case, that you may like to look elsewhere for support.
You are important
Email: jonesy@hush.com

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