What is real?

[chickadee]

I have a difficult time with reality sometimes. Growing up, my family was very good at pretending things were normal even though they were not.

I think I trained myself to believe an idealized version of reality. I've always had a really good imagination, and I escaped into books and stories.

Now I'm getting out of an abusive marriage, and for years I believed that things were normal in my marriage even though they weren't. My ex was abusive, and he twisted my reality. I had to believe what he believed in order for my marriage to work. I logically know that he was abusive, but I catch myself doubting myself. When will this doubt ever end? Will it end?

I am working with a therapist who is helping me, but I get frustrated with myself. Will I ever be able to believe myself again?

[IMA]

Chickadee

I too have came from an abusive relationship and I can relate to your struggles with reality sometimes and I am here supporting you.

IMA

[wolfspirit]

chickadee,
I do think you will believe yourself as you continue to ground your thoughts in reality.
I admire how you face the truth now, instead of living in a state of someone else's perspective or beliefs.
You recognize that the truth protects you and supports you. It doesn't threaten or demean you.

<3
ws