Fleur's 2018 thoughts

[Jitterbug]

I do hear your pain, your frustration, your struggle. The agony of it all.

You have so much to deal with right now. As you know. I can soo relate. I'm out of wisdom. All I can offer is much much love, admiration for you and hope that some help or treatment for the sepsis comes soon so that at least that is one thing getting 'sorted, if such a thing is possible.

You do not deserve ANY of this.

Much deep caring

Jitterbug

(& your comment re soxy made me smile - my sister in law seems to have adopted next door's cat. She's lovely but very contrary with her affection. The cat not my sister in law lol.)

[Couragetoday]

Hi Fleur,

Trying to tease apart where the physical and emotional symptoms are stemming from is so difficult and for me, can drive me mad!

Sometimes when it’s too confusingTo figure out, I try to just manage whatever symptom is there, in anyway I can. Whether it’s treating it medically or more of a mental health approach or often times both.
Not sure if this makes sense?

Hope today was better for you.
CT

[iwillthrive]

Fleur,

I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. Not knowing if it’s physical or emotional is very frustrating. I think that many times the emotional/mental causes the physical. Not sure if that is the case with you.

And as far as sharing the same things - this is your thread and you can share whatever you want however many times you need to. You offer such kindness and understanding to so many others here - including me. Please do the same for yourself!

Hoping you have a good day! iwillthrive

[Fleur]

Thanks for smile Jitterbug - re sis and cat


Hello Couragetoday -- sorry you know the mix too


Thank you iwillthrive for writing here



Appreciate your messages VERY MUCH

[Fleur]

Today has been a write off

Insiders awake, then slept. I as adult know I was awake around 2am. Next thing it was well after 4:30 PM!

Got phone messages re possible neurology appt Wed am, but clashes with Pdoc. Sent email to decline

Pain almost too much

Have been swearing and Soxy hid

Even yelping quietly hurts

Something shifted in head physically. Feel difference between yesterday and now

Am sooo f*** with all of this

Phone playing up, puts in words instead of space or if I correct typo

Dreamt I filled all paperwork to hand over body for science.... Someone might make use out of my misery ... But in dream I was aware of procedure, couldn't speak. Horrifying. Woke scared. Bright daytime. Ugh

[recover]

(((((((((((((((((fleur)))))))))))))))))) safe hugs if ok
so sorry for your struggles. much caring and friendship.
love,
recover xo

[sun]

Fleur,

I am sorry for this terrible pain you are feeling. I can’t offer much right now, but I am here and listening.

Sending comfort and calm,

sun

[there]

Fleur,
Sorry you are having pain, the scary dream, and other difficult things. My tablet does similar crap to what your phone does.

Just hoping and praying that things ease up for you soon.

With love,
there

[Fleur]

Hello recover, sun, there ....

Really lovely to read your messages. Thank you

I now kinda wished I'd cancelled pdoc in favour of neurologist, as the letter arrived today - appt 18 JULY, 1:30PM. Such a long wait ...

The research lady cancelled at last moment as some kind of medical emergency happened at her office. Unsure if she were the patient or support person

Just so pleased I did go to her office, as wheel came off Walker, right outside building site. 2 men fixed problem - first man found the missing nut/screw in grass and second one found a tool to reattach. What a blessing

A passing cancer nurse offered support, as did a few other passers by. Felt very cared about from strangers

Pdoc on about better and more regular nutrition. Told her I don't get hungry - her response was to put reminder in phone and EAT! Have a fortnightly appt spot booked by staff member until Nov - after that the computer doesn't register. Pdoc happy I'm to be assessed by day program psychologist. She agreed about new T near home -- anything to help stop su, sh in her opinion. She'll write to GP clinic. Next appt for medicine review

Head hurts a lot plus feel exhausted


Trust each one here has a night of only sweet dreaming and a tomorrow full of bright moments

[there]

Fleur,
Glad that your wheel decided to come off when 2 helpful men were nearby! Glad that nurse and others passing were kind and you felt very cared about by strangers

Really hope that you can find a T close to home, also. If okay to say, I hope it can help with su, sh, too.

My head was hurting last night. Hope you awaken from night's good sleep feeling refreshed and in no pain.