Fleur's 2018 thoughts

[Couragetoday]

Also thinking of you Fleur.

Hope you are able to have some moments of happiness, peace, or “okness” each day

With caring

CT

[there]

Fleur,
Thanks! Not sure about a different service. Good question. I do find stuff on YouTube for a spiritual lift.

hoping, too, for happy, peaceful, or ok moments each day in your world.

[Fleur]

Hello my friends - especially recover, there and Couragetoday ....

Not sure why I overlooked reading here but THANK YOU SO MUCH for leaving messages


..........


On Wed, I saw Pdoc. She doesn't get that my staying in bed is really all 24/7, except for little time to use bathroom, grab something to eat .... The washing I put out Wed PM is still on line, with a second basket of clean stuff to go out. I called it "lazy"; SHE called it being unwell. I say I'm not depressed; SHE asks what is it then? Great question. Sigh, huge sigh

I'm kinda sh, kinda not
I'm planning su, but also providing ways to be safe
I'm not unpacking - 2 reasons at least - one, the old idea of tidy house = must su and also I'm not sure I'm supposed to live here. Why? Cos son is supposed to be with me (instead he ignores all calls and texts)

Actually, as far as rent amount is concerned, son would not be a financial asset as the healthcare card is only for concessions, not monetary payment from the government

Rental is based on a % of total household income, so there'd be no more paid whether or not son is here. Different if he moved in and found proper paid work. As a buffer, the amount weekly needs to be at least $100 after tax

Pdoc asked if unpacking is overwhelming - yes and no - I need more storage in bathroom and bookshelves, but I knew about bookshelves before I moved. I just hadn't counted on financial state not allowing purchase for longer than I'd thought

The small areas of grass - weeds - is knee high. I chopped some on Wed. Then I discovered that for the princely sum of $5 / year membership, I can borrow hand tools on 2 weekdays plus a powered mower for $5 a time. This is from a community centre around a couple of corners. I'll phone them on Mon. They also offer craft, art, and other things for a few dollars per session. And I might be able to get a few of their excess seedlings if I contribute to their vegie patch

Putting cart before horse - looking before I have cash to splash - I've seen some planters on wheels to suit a lemon/lime grafted dwarf shrub. Means I could move the plant seasonally, even indoors if weather was truly horrible. It's on the wishlist

Looking properly at the garden, I need to get rid of weeds, rocks and find decent mulch material to support herbs, medicinal flowers. Might ask on Monday if they sell compost, etc. I also want to know what is growing so beautifully in the back - a purple flower with fragrant foliage and a silvery grey shrub with golden balls making each flower

Along the drive, weeds look very healthy. Wouldn't mind if dandelions but thistles are not desirable. Maybe I can plant dandelions and stop/crowd out the others - or a creeper

But first, I gotta get out of bed, do self care, and start eating "properly". Pdoc suggested making veg soup, big pot, some in freezer, some in fridge. To do so requires effort and energy I don't have. She's right, of course, by not eating much, I'm adding to lack of stamina, etc .......

There's an ethnic Church nearby - I could walk - wondering if translation into English happens? Nothing on the website, not even service times. Something else I can ask

Soxy has something wrong with a front paw and his breathing is erratic - mostly OK but also a rattle and he has productive sneezes each night. There's a Vet down the road a mile or so, closer than when I took him before moving

And I'm not saying I have any major hiccup, but my head is awfully sore, part of why I lie so much. Tinnitus is bad enough with head on pillow. I can't think clearly when vertical. Lots of noise from insiders as well

Next official appointment is Wed with psych researcher. 3 days to prepare, smile


Cheers

[recover]

dearest fleur,
thank you for the update, i am sorry things are hard.
sending comfort and caring and support to you always.
love,
recover xoxo

[Fleur]

Hello recover my friend

Imagining us in a safe place where only positives are permitted

[there]

Fleur,
Sorry you're having the headache still. I have tinnitus in left ear. Got it sitting next to a speaker during a concert. Unless I think about it, I don't really notice it much anymore.

Hope Soxy is ok.

Soup is nice, but can be a lot of chopping. Just a thought---- please take or leave--- do you have a steamer basket? It's pretty easy to just place water in a pan, place basket in with raw veggies, then steam. You don't even have to trim them first, you can trim ends off most after they've softened and it's easier. I do this.

Then I just flavor them with a little salt or butter substitute, spices, sesame seeds... All there is to clean up is the pan with water in it. You can even drink that water for nutrients from steaming.

Also, oatmeal is a strengthening food.

Plans for your outdoor area sound great! That community center with art and craft sessions sounds good, too

Hope you and Soxy are soon feeling stronger.

[Couragetoday]

Hello Fleur,

Not sure what the history of the word’ Lazy’ holds for you, but it’s a tricky one here.
Even when legitimately ill, when anyone else in the world would be in pjs, resting, I feel I am being lazy also. (Which is a false belief, stemming from blatant messages from the past).

The nearby community center sounds like it offers some wonderful resources.
Hope if you try it out it works out well.

Large batches of soup to freeze has saved me many times. Do you have a food processor? Can help a lot if cutting stuff is difficult for you. Or frozen precut veggies. On those days where I make a large batch, I plan nothing else. Knowing it will take all my energy.

For tinnitus, is playing low, soothing music when laying down helpful, or ‘white noise’?

Really hope Soxy’s paw and breathing is better??

Leaving caring and safe hugs.

CT

[Fleur]

Thank you there, Couragetoday. Appreciate your thoughts.


Not in a space to share at the moment.

[Couragetoday]

Hi Fleur

Sending caring and support.

CT

[DewDrop]

Hello Fleur,

Just finding the new thread.

Getting excited thinking of your garden. Gardening is so therapeutic here.

It sounds like you have a lot to explore around you, but I also get that actually getting up/ following through can be mighty difficult at times.

Planter on wheels sounds quite handy, especially seasonally. I know someone who was following the sun, with a wheel barrow all summer.

I encourage you to try to eat properly. Please use what energy you have, to eat properly and gain more energy. I know, I know... look who’s talking.

Thank you for being you.

Much love,

DewDrop