My Story of Abuse

A discussion area specifically for survivors who suffered physical, emotional, and verbal child abuse. This forum can also be used for Members who suffered sexual abuse at the time of physical, emotional and verbal abuse.

Moderators: quixote, Ashia, ajei

1000miles
Member
Posts: 451
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2017 6:19 am

Re: My Story of Abuse

Post by 1000miles » Wed Oct 04, 2017 1:07 am

Hi juliewr,

Just wanted to say I feel glad for all you're doing for your niece. Glad she has you as an advocate. Sounds like perhaps progress is being made. Wishing you all the best as you talk with your sister.

1000miles

juliewr
Member
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Aug 26, 2017 10:24 pm

Re: My Story of Abuse

Post by juliewr » Sat Oct 07, 2017 8:55 pm

I met with my sister and tried to calmly talk to her about alternative ways to disciple. She did not have any of it. To her the beatings and abuse we got as kids/teen was good, we needed it, it made us who we are today, etc.

Sadly, she gave my niece a brutal spanking on Friday night. She and my parents, with whom they live, took turns using their hands, a paddle and the belt on her bare butt. They were very angry that CPS got involved and took it out on her butt.

I spoke to my niece this morning and she told me all the details. She was still shaken. She told me that her butt was welted and bruised, which I am sure it was because I was in her shoes more times than I can count. I asked her if I called CPS and they came to the house would she cooperate with them. She said she doesn't want anybody to see her butt. Again, I know how she feels. I spent most of my childhood and teenage years trying to figure out how to make sure nobody every saw the marks on my butt.

I decided to call CPS anyway and this time leave my information. They assured me that they would not say who called, but that if they decided to remove her from the home they would call me or my other sister since my parents, the grandparents, were also potential abusers.

Three hours later my other sister called to tell me that she was going to pick our niece up. CPS had called her and removed her from the home. They had been able to convince my niece to let the female social worker and a female doctor see her butt and decided the marks, which were now over 15 hours old, easily constituted abuse.

My sister and parents will have to do parenting classes, meet with psychologists and a variety of other things before being considered for her being placed back inside of the home.

This has been crazy for us!

Jonesy
Director
Director
Posts: 10988
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 1:44 pm

Re: My Story of Abuse

Post by Jonesy » Sat Oct 07, 2017 9:24 pm

Hi juliewr

My heart goes out to all of you who stood tall for this girl of yours. One day she will truly realise the significance of your actions. I hope she feels support around her at this frightening time.

Please know how very proud I am of you. I know how difficult this has been.
You are important
Email: jonesy@hush.com

1000miles
Member
Posts: 451
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2017 6:19 am

Re: My Story of Abuse

Post by 1000miles » Sat Oct 07, 2017 11:15 pm

Dear juliewr,

Oh my gosh, I feel so relieved to hear that your niece will now have someone to protect her from her parents' and grandparents' abuse! Such wonderful news. I feel that you've done something heroic in going to bat for her. Echoing Jonesy in hoping your niece will feel much support through this ordeal.

1000miles

iwillthrive
Member
Posts: 1244
Joined: Sat Aug 19, 2017 11:34 am

Re: My Story of Abuse

Post by iwillthrive » Sun Oct 08, 2017 1:44 am

juliewr,

I'm so sorry your niece has had to go through this but she has the best aunt in the world! You have done the thing that so many of us wish had been done for us - you stood up for someone who needed it. I know your niece has a long way to go to begin to heal, but you have started her on the path. Beautiful thing you have done.

wishing you and your niece some peace...
iwillthrive
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

juliewr
Member
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Aug 26, 2017 10:24 pm

Re: My Story of Abuse

Post by juliewr » Wed Oct 25, 2017 11:14 am

An update on my niece...

...she is doing well with my other sister and her husband. Thriving in school, getting therapy and for the first time since she was an infant she isn't being spanked every day or two. She said the other day she doesn't remember the last time she didn't have bruises on her butt cheeks.

The therapy for her is hard, but it is good for her. She went through more than I even knew between the amount of spankings and the number of people who gave them to her: her mom, both grandparents, moms friends, several moms boyfriends, multiple baby sitters...but it mirrors my sister and my upbringing as we got them often and by dozens of different people.

She has only had 2 short, supervised visits with my sister, her mom. My sister is angling for an unsupervised overnight later this month, but for now CPS is saying no.

Thanks for all of the support!
Last edited by Jonesy on Thu Oct 26, 2017 5:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed ST to MT

iwillthrive
Member
Posts: 1244
Joined: Sat Aug 19, 2017 11:34 am

Re: My Story of Abuse

Post by iwillthrive » Wed Oct 25, 2017 11:22 am

juliewr,

Thank you for posting an update. I have been thinking of your niece and wondering how she was doing. I'm so sorry to hear all of the abuse she suffered. However, because of you she has a chance to heal and that is beautiful.

Peace to you both...iwillthrive
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

Xanthia
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 2240
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 1:20 am

Re: My Story of Abuse

Post by Xanthia » Wed Oct 25, 2017 7:36 pm

Hi juliewr,

Appreciate your update.

Great that your niece is getting help and support.

How are you amidst all that is happening?

With care,
Xanthia

1000miles
Member
Posts: 451
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2017 6:19 am

Re: My Story of Abuse

Post by 1000miles » Thu Oct 26, 2017 4:33 pm

So happy to hear things are going better for your niece! Wishing the same for others victimized by this "spanking cult."

1000miles
Last edited by Jonesy on Thu Oct 26, 2017 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT

juliewr
Member
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Aug 26, 2017 10:24 pm

Re: My Story of Abuse

Post by juliewr » Sat Nov 04, 2017 8:00 pm

I sat in last week with my niece at one of her meetings with CPS. They were trying to get a list of all of the people who my sister let take her clothes off/down and spank her. I was triggered massively. As she listed off my sisters friends, various boyfriends, babysitters, Sunday School teachers, etc. it flooded back to me all of the people who my parents allowed to do it to me.

I had a very bad week fighting memories of these spankings by "other" people. My list is long, like 15+ people and it is something I still struggle with the humiliation of today. I still live in the same town, more or less, and see some of these people now as an adult and it throws me off.

Ugh...
Last edited by Ashia on Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed ST to MT

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests