The point of therapy is??

[lilly]

I'm in therapy, we're doing alot of work but I still don't feel any better, I don't k ow what I was expecting, maybe a miracle. And I think I've just come to realise that everything is here to stay, I'm never going to be away from it. I have a husband 3 kids and I have managed to make and keep a few friends over the past 4 years. But it's all still there.

I was sexually abused by my mother from the age of 6. I just can't get away from it. I have a feew flash back, body memories, I see images of myself being abused. I feel like quiting therapy. If this is due to stay with me forever then what on earth is the point of anything.

Sorry to be so negative.

[recover]

Hi lilly,
good to meet you, i am sorry for all you have suffered.
it sounds to me like it would be good to talk to your therapist about what you wrote, maybe even share the post. for me, therapy has to be balanced so as not to be retraumatizing. i have had many very terrible therapy experiences in the past. it is important that the therapist know how to work with trauma, the last thing you need is more trauma. for me, i need help with both coping and managing and NOT feeling traumatized along with trying to work through whatever got me here in the first place. but the most important thing is safety and not being retrauamatized.
hope that helps.
with support,
recover

[Serenity]

Hi lilly,

I understand what you are saying. How long have you been in therapy? It can seem like it's taking forever to be "cured", especially when you want to feel better like right now. It is a process. But it can and does help.

Take care,
Serenity

[lilly]

Thanks guys,
I had cbt for 10mths to get me to a point with my anxiety and depression that I could handle a little more intrusive therapy. It worked brilliantly and I'm still able to use alot of the skills every day.

I had a 6mth gap before starting to see this therapist, she is good, and I finally think after a few months she isn't going to hurt me! I have told her about the abuse when it started what happened (well extremely briefly what kind of things went on) and loads of other stuff thqt happened in response to this and my life. But I dobt feel like I have got anything out of it, I still feel hurt, I still physically feel the abuse on my body, I still have dreams knightmares and images pop up into my head.

What am I supposed to do with it all? I know it will never go away I'm stuck with it forever, and I know I have to concentrate on the here and know but seriously it's so difficult. It's like I feel bad for not being able to move on faster.

I'm just disheartened, I just want it to go away, to be able to cry about it would also be nice. I can't cry, I can dissociate, have a panic attack and hyperventilate but not cry.

I want someone to just hold me while I cry about my past. But I can't.

Thabk you for listening.

[hopeful]

Dear Lilly

The past will always be there the memories will never go away. But you will learn ways to manage them to an extent that they will no longer rule your life.
I'm like you. I dissasociate and have flashbacks and panic attacks. Yet can not cry. Inside I cry. The thing is that you're body has learnt ways to deal with the situation the best way it could in the past. By disassociating. So to unlearn that behavior will take patience and time.

I glad cbt has helped so far but it doesn't mean that it is the only t that can help. I had dbt for a year to help with find safe ways to manage my distress. Now I am doing Emdr to tackle the trauma and memories. With a view to reducing the extent they impact my life. Counseling can help too to deal with feelings of guilt and shame... Which by the way are not ours to own.
Don't feel bad about length of time it may take. Everyone is different. But if you have being dealing with the trauma for a number of years. Then 10 months is just a tiny bit of time to unlearn unhelpful ways to cope .
The trick is not to second guess when you should be 'over it ' or how long it should take. Take each day as it comes. Relish in the good days and on the bad, know that tomorrow is another day forward on your healing journey. I have faith in you to keep putting one foot in front of the other on your healing journey.
You have found isurvive so you have found companions as you walk this road.

Much support
Hopeful

[lilly]

I also think I was expecting to get something from therapy that I I'm not going to get. There is no magic wand, I'm not suddenly going to forget the past and behave like it never happened.

This is my second therapist, she's good and I like her, she challenges me, and dosnt let me get away with anything. I know therapy is working I just, I don't know.

Thank you to everyone who has replied. I appreciate it.

[hopeful]

I'm glad it is helping.
I guess these things take time and we can get a little impatient! Understandably when good results mean less pain.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other
With support

Hopeful

[GoldenCup]

I understand, I get frustrated with therapy too. Sometimes you wonder if they know what they're doing, or if it will ever help? But I just keep trying and trying! All I want is to heal

[SweetestGirl]

Hi Lilly. Hopeful has some beautiful advice for you. Have you thought of EDMR, a type of therapy (but it can be slow as well) or hypnotherapy?

I too have many blocks of time that I have no clue (as a child) what happened to me.

My mother and stepdad's all hurt me in different ways. I feel broken, like a billion pieces and I'm overwhelmed. Then I was hurt as an adult as well. (By strangers)

That's why I want to find a hypnotherapist. Good luck to you and I hope you find what you are looking for.