Ted Talks and other useless slogans

[Welkin]

I was listening to one of the reams of self-help Ted Talks on Youtube; this one advised by NPR (national public radio) as being better than the average, so I gave it a listen. It took minutes to realize this was yet another one of those that essentially boil down to pulling yourself up by your bootstraps in order to not be miserable. Act yourself into a right way of thinking, yada, yada.
I can tell how different my childhood was from most people's when I start feeling rage at the sight of some (young, rich, white, male, highly-educated, who's parents undoubtedly loved him) -guy on a stage pacing back and forth reducing the instinctive self-sabotaging cycle I live daily into a simplistic nutshell that in the end, any normal logical person who could actually take their advice wouldn't have in the first place. If that makes sense.
The only way I could have a 'self' as a child was to rebel. I learned to hate authority and to keep my abusers at some kind of distance so I could survive mentally, sometimes physically as well, by refusing to do almost everything they wanted. This was confusing as a kid, because I didn't know when non-cooperation was essential and when I was seriously sabotaging my future. If it didn't 'feel' right, like school, for example, I either avoided it completely or was as non-cooperative as possible.
As an adult, I can't seem to let go of this mode of decision making without a stiff fight with myself. You can imagine what this has done to my life. I've never been able to make anyone's advice work for me. It seems I've spent my entire life simply doing damage control and barely managing that. Decades later I'm still coming to terms with how severe my abuse actually was and wondering how I'm going to deal with healing my wounds, let alone move forward to a 'better future'.

[recover]

hi welkin,
i can relate. none of that stuff ever really helps me, ever.
i am sorry for all you have suffered.
with support,
recover

[Welkin]

Thanks

[Jitterbug]

I find the TED Talks a mixed bag, but I really get your response to them. I have felt that at times too.

It can be very frustrating and isolating.

Take care and avoid them, where you can, I say.

Jitterbug

[jimscarlet]

Yeah,everything is O.K. when everything is O.K.

[there]

TED Talks are a mixed bag, yes.
Brene Brown is really good. TED talks about the environment can be good, too. Haven't seen the one you've described,but can imagine it.
With many online resources, I ignore the stuff from someone that I can't use, and use from them what does work or resonate with me. In the case of the TED talk guy, his 'advice' really is useless.
If they haven't been through anything,why don't they address their 'services' to people who haven't been through anything?

[Jayne]

Hi Welkin,

Feelin' it brother living it..

Peace

[earthhorse]

Hi Welkin,

Love your words!

Yaaas!

OMG I relate.

And you know you did survive. And what else is that there is a heap of stuff designed to keep you down and that does not have anything to do with you. Naming it it, seeing it, externalizing it really brings power.

What helps? radical self acceptance. Tell your own story. Be with and honor your feelings. You don't have to be enough for anyone else.

Power and strength,
EH