Letting go

[honeybera]

Hey there!

If you need a hand, I have done some gardening, too!

I wish! You are always welcome. What kind of gardening have you done? Has it helped to ground you? (Oh...no pun intended.) It really makes me happy when I'm out there puttering around. What do you like to garden/plant/eat? How much area do you have, and in which part of the country? Some folks are still knee deep in snow, whereas out in my neck of the woods, it's in the high 70s and time to plant! It makes a big difference.

My new T is speaking of and referencing Maslow a lot, so me being me, tonight I looked up Maslow on the internet. Fascinating stuff! He apparently dwells on happiness rather than the problematic. How pleasant is that??! I like being happy. I strive to be happy. MD didn't like that. Her rule is: MD, happy; Honey, NEVER EVER happy and/or satisfied. She was frustrated because it never really turned out that way, for her unhappiness is deep inside her and protected by absolute denial that her life is, or ever has been, anything but perfection, so she took it out on me when even she could recognize that her life's delights were all fictitious fantasy. I need to avoid her toxicity now, not to be mean to her, but to preserve my own mental health and happiness. These are my own observations and gleaned from my quick study of Maslow's principles, but I have a feeling my new T would agree with me. Strongly.

Wow...the doorbell just rang; mailman left two boxes, and in them? Box 1: My Cha-Cha Chives and Box 2: My Hot Lips Salvia!!! Both have now been watered, placed into small saucers, basking under the grow lights! They came from Burpee's in PA!! All the way across the country they've traveled! They do look a bit bedraggled, but given a chance, I'm sure they'll grow like crazy. The chives have reached their forever home under the lights (I'm planning an herb and lettuce garden there on one shelf of it), but the Hot Lips salvia will, once thoroughly revived, have a place of honor under my kitchen window in the hummingbird garden I'm growing. The Rose-of-Sharon tree, which spontaneously grew outside there last summer and is perfectly shaped already, is a favorite of the hummingbirds, and the leaves on it have just sprouted out. Now I am sure it overwintered properly. <whew!> You can see exactly what it looks like on Google images. And of course the Hot Lips salvia. I just couldn't resist such a name, and they are so pretty, too (both red and white together). I should have pollinators galore this year to pollinate my garden and entertain me at the same time as I do my dishes.

My garden is such a positive motivator! I awoke this morning with a terrible sore throat, and promised myself to rest and take it easy, but looking out the window just now and receiving my new plants, I'm inspired to get out there and do just a little bit, just to keep moving in the right direction. If I get too tired, I've promised myself to take an additional rest...but I have some "light duty" things to do, and I'm sure I'll not only be ok doing them, but feel better about the whole thing once done. Maybe finish scrubbing out the bird bath and refilling it with fresh water so my birds can come here for a drink of water. Right now they light there on the upside down saucer blocking the birds from drinking the dilute bleach in the bird bath, and they shoot me a dirty look of thirst and confusion. And it's been that way for two days now. So yeah, it's first up on the list of things to do. The birds are guilt-tripping me!! I'd better get at it...

Honeybera

[dancingfish]

Hi Honeybera, so pleased to hear your garden is thriving. :D The hummingbird garden sounds like a lovely idea, too. Sounds like the fruits and vegetables are all nicely underway, too! Good idea with the potting to avoid disturbing squash plant roots later on, I hadn't thought of that.

Also very glad to hear you have found a good T, and indeed your cousin! How exciting. Wishing you the best! And yes, I agree with there that I feel I visit your "cyber garden" too - I have pictures in my head of how it looks from your lovely descriptions. :)

Wishing you well, and sending you support and care if okay. :)

[honeybera]

Long time, no hear from, dancingfish! Welcome back! As always, my garden is open to everyone, virtual or not.

Do forgive me. This IS long! But it's what I need to say...

Last week, my dear son had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled. Very painful for him as they were impacted. OUCH! The next day, I came down with a killer cold. Two days ago, I got my first bout of serious and wildly painful gout (a "flare"). The City is on my case again to weed whack my front yard and will be here tomorrow morning to "inspect". I am super stressed, and I think that's what brought on the "gout flare", but the flare itself also brought on an inability to weed eat the yard or to plant much. So I've basically been in bed since March 15th, sick with one thing or another. Not much fun.

And not too productive, either, especially at this time of the year: Spring and planting time. Also very stressful. But although the body is weak, the mind is ACTIVE! I am now feeling a bit better today (cold is lessened tremendously, gout has all but disappeared), and my beloved son has done his best to mow down the weeds in the front yard. I can breathe a sigh of relief once the City lady has come and gone. I also plan to hit the front yard early and manicure the job my son most graciously did for me.

=========================================

I did the front yard cleaning. The lady from the City came, but she didn't contact me (yet), so I guess it's ok.

I'm quite peeved with my new T. Although he or his staff called here (repeatedly) last week to "change my appointment" and woke me and were asked nicely to not do that again since we don't keep "normal" hours and are often day sleepers, this week he had another cancellation and his office staff called and woke me up again. I had gone to bed at 10am (after staying up until dawn and then weedeating the yard - I was EXHAUSTED!!) only to have them call me at 1pm to ask if I wanted to come in at 2pm instead of 3pm as scheduled. I wasn't as "nice" this time, but was very plain-spoken, explaining that my son OR I OR both could be sleeping at that time of the day, that I had already confirmed my appointment 3 days before, and to please not call my home again. She tersely said for me to talk to the T. And he was ready for me. He asked questions about my mother, and then compared me to her: "The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, you know."
==================================================

I've been mulling over (with my son) what I should do on Monday morning regarding the T. My son was so incensed with the T's behavior with me (under the cloak of Freudian therapy and how I had to accept that I was acting like my own mother - whom he doesn't know) that ds had insisted going in with me to talk to the T. I was all for it, until I stepped back and thought about it. Final decision: I'm calling the T's office on Monday morning (first thing) and cancelling all future appointments. I will let his office know that I don't feel that we have a "good fit". And then I'm going to let it go!

He seemed to feel that I went to him for DEEP soul-searching and very long term psychoanalysis, and he was determined to give it to me. On the other hand, I was searching for a supportive T who could be contacted when needed for positive affirmations and uplifting. Like I told my son: "If I need to revisit my Inner Critic and be put down by someone, I can always call my mother."

But I got on the internet again and researched for Ts in the area who take Medicare Plus, and to my delight, I found some! Hopefully, among them there may be a friendly person who does not take my assertive behavior for aggression. ("Please don't call my home to change my appointment when you have a cancellation or several because [as he said to me] you feel that I am 'unemployed' and can switch my appointments at your will to ease your schedule. We can be day sleepers or have other plans.") He said that his time was more valuable than mine and that I was out of line, and if I insisted on my objection to his unwelcome phone calls, then I was "acting like my mother". Really?? Like I said, "poor fit".

But there are others that may be a good fit - thank God! So I'll be calling them next week. In the meantime, I'm reading my Pete Walker book, wherein it says that it's not only ok, but necessary that:

I renounce over-noticing and dwelling on what might be wrong with me or life around me. I will not minimize or discount my attributes. Right now, I notice, visualize and enumerate my accomplishments, talents and qualities, as well as the many gifts that life offers me...I will not accept unfair criticism or perfectionist expectations from anyone. Even when afraid, I will defend myself from unfair criticism. I won't let fear make my decisions. - Pete Walker in his book Complex PTSD

If I can't find a good T, so be it. I get a LOT of positive help and healing from Pete Walker's book, but I would like to have someone who is available to me when/if I'm feeling down for some reason. I DO NOT need in-depth Freudian psychoanalysis! (No wonder people, that he refers to as "dead wood", are fleeing away from this guy and cancelling appointments!)

I also have decided that I no longer need to nor should call Mommy Dearest, and I may need support in that endeavor.

AND today I am going to plant some tomatoes and squash. My tomatoes survived me leaving them outside in a windstorm and overnight for 3 days now since I've been sick. The peppers are still under the grow lights. I'm directly planting the squash with seeds. Yesterday, I cleared out my old Creole tomato "sticks" and prepped the pot for planting. I have two more to go, but TONS of tomato varieties. I also need to weedeat the weeds down, finish constructing my raised beds and fill them up, purchase and spread out my straw mulch to keep those weeds from growing back (and to give my backyard/garden a "farmy" look) , general clean-up out there, hire the tree guy to plant my newest trees (as soon as I figure out where they should all go), prune the trees I've got (if possible at this late date)...the list goes on and on. It is more than enough to keep me busy. I just need to appreciate whatever I get done out there and not allow myself to get overwhelmed by the immensity of the amount of work needed. One step at a time.

And BTW, I'm losing weight, too. Finally!

Honeybera

[there]

Priceless, this ---- His time is more valuable than yours is. Good thing he and staff showed their true colors early. Apple falling comment also way out of line. And there are all kinds of employment​, not all of them valued in limited ways.
Better off without a narrow-minded, inflexible, narcissistic jerk!

My gardening experience--- sometimes planting a few rows of some peas, also weeding in an acquaintance's herb garden.
I live in an apartment and keep several potted plants. I trust them to clean my air!

I love the quote from Pete Walker. Might look up that book (or website).

[honeybera]

Hi there!!! I love you for your comments! Now THAT is the support I need! Your comments could not have come at a better time. Bless you for that.

Priceless, this ---- His time is more valuable than yours is. Good thing he and staff showed their true colors early. Apple falling comment also way out of line. And there are all kinds of employment​, not all of them valued in limited ways.
Better off without a narrow-minded, inflexible, narcissistic jerk!

You are absolutely RIGHT!!! He also said he thought that I should be more flexible since I am unemployed...or, uh, (in air quotes by him) "retired"! I called Monday at 9:00am sharp and cancelled my Thurs. appointment with him, making sure she knew that no further appointments would be necessary and that I felt we weren't "a good fit". I also asked her to tell him NOT to call to ask me why. "Just tell him: not a good fit please." And that was that.

I think I got into trouble with him on the first appointment. I mentioned Trust vs Mistrust, and he proceeded to give quite a lecture on "Maslow" - until I asked, "Wasn't that Erikson?" and it was downhill from there. I think that that embarrassed him. I'm outta there!! I already have Mommy Dearest. What do I need with him when I'm already trying to escape her??

My gardening experience--- sometimes planting a few rows of some peas, also weeding in an acquaintance's herb garden.
I live in an apartment and keep several potted plants. I trust them to clean my air!

SO GLAD that you are gardening!! Fresh peas! YUM! What a treat for you! I'm happy that you are doing this. It can be totally uplifting to me to get out into my garden. I need to get out there more, but one step at a time. Do you have a sunny window or a patch in your friend's garden where you can grow a tomato (if you like them). Just touching the plant makes your hands smell like tomatoes in summer!! What glee!!

I ordered more pots from Amazon (10 more 30 gallon "felt" pots) to accommodate all the varieties I'll have this year. I'll set them on straw mulch to a) control those nasty weeds, b)to keep everything cleaner and easier to walk on, and c)make it look like the mini-farm it is. I'm transplanting ALL my tomatoes tonight to larger pots. I left them outside in the weather for WAY too long in their tiny pots (I was SO sick with a bad, bad cold and gout)! I have the pots. I have the markers. I have the potting soil. And I figured out how to get the tomatoes out of their pots. Wonderful names for them: Mortgage Lifter, Mr. Stripey, SunGold (my favorite!!!), Steakhouse, Garden Delight, Oxheart (both orange and pink - shaped like a heart when cut) and so on. Some are grape tomato size, some get to weighing 3+ lbs!! It should keep me plenty busy (if I let it). Tonight I stood, water hose in hand, surveying the job ahead of me and reciting my favorite Mark Twain quote:

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is
breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks and then starting on the first one.”
– Mark Twain

It always helps to keep me going.

Tomorrow is MAJOR weedeating, plus direct seeding my squash plants: zucchinis (with 3 round varieties [One Ball, Eight Ball, and Lucky 8] and a yellow zucchini [Goldmine] along with one regular old green one [Floridor]. I also have a couple of zucchini seeds from 2015 that are good, but I know how much zucchini can produce! But I love my squash to eat (daily?? ), and I can take these oddly shaped and colored squash down to the health food store and barter for other goods that they carry or for cash. Makes it nice for me and nice for them. I've also got 4 different kinds of patty pans and both straight neck and crookneck yellow squashes. It should be prolific around here soon! But I'm proud to be planting them on my grandmother's birthday. She would have loved this.

My tiny little donut peaches (Saturns) are covering both trees. Great crop so far!! Haven't checked the turnout for the other two peaches, the apricot, or the Aprium yet. And I'm hoping my bare-roots, still in their shipping box in the garage, are still alive and well. Next week for them, but I may try to unbox them sooner and sprinkle with some water (and love and prayer). I have to decide WHERE to plant them where they can be conveniently watered. I've got to get some sort of automatic watering system for my trees! And straw...LOTS OF STRAW!

I love the quote from Pete Walker. Might look up that book (or website).

Amazon. SO UPLIFTING!! SO POSITIVE!! He was abused as well. It's helped me SO MUCH to heal up and to stop beating myself up when someone else, for whatever reason, decides I should be picked on again. Here is the direct quote from the front cover of the book:

Pete Walker's new book is an invaluable, comprehensive resource for anyone with a childhood history of trauma.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Those battered, neglected tomatoes are calling me to PLEASE transplant them. Gotta go. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{there}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} And thanks again for your precious and most welcome comments. You made my day!!

Honeybera

[honeybera]

Whew! It's 6am, and I just finished transplanting MOST of my poor bedraggled tomatoes. Just with the fierce winds for two days + a lack of water, these tough little guys were just at the brink of disaster. But now almost all are out of their 2"x2" starter pots and each into a MUCH roomier 4" pot. I honestly think the term "bedraggled" was appropriate, but they are already beginning to snap back and stand tall. Some looked much better than others (Steakhouse, Burpee's Big Boy, and the Mr. Stripey), so I just watered them where they are (in the starter pots) and will finish them up in the morning. I'm keeping them inside under the grow light until next Saturday after the rain (and wind) has passed. They look so cute under the lights right now, and the lights will turn on from 8am-midnight, so they won't lack sun and can "soak up some rays" before I sling them back outside. I really didn't do this textbook right, but I'm a total noob at this and this is a learning tool for me. I won't make that mistake again, I can tell you!

The tomatoes are VERY "leggy", but I saw on the internet how tomatoes grow. They are mostly "indeterminate" (vines that just keep growing!! and growing!!!), so if they're leggy, I can just plant them d-e-e-p, and from that long stem will grow new strong roots! Wow!! So that's how I will plant them. And immediately cage them so they grow ^^^UP^^^. I know how to do that (this year - learned from last year and from the year before when they went WILD!!), and what I end up with is this big, freestanding 20-30 gallon pot of thriving, sweet tomatoes to pick at my leisure. What a hoot!! I just love to do this! Oh! And straw underneath to stifle the weeds. Just perfect! I even got a refractometer from Amazon to test my tomatoes and fruit for sweetness. Yeah, I am really into this!!

The peppers are about ready to be planted, and I know just the spot! The raised beds! I even threw in some hot spicy ones this year. So I really need to get the beds set up. I am planting my squash today (as soon as I wake up), but that's easy: just scratch up the soil in each pot with the garden claw after putting down some worm castings and azomite, scratch that in, and then bury some seeds in there and mark it with its name. It should be warm enough for them out there by now, and they can handle the rain. Between raindrops, I am going to take the pickup (Ol' Faithful) and go fetch more straw and/or garden/potting soil for the beds. I need a LOT!

AARRGGGHHHH!! I'm getting ahead of myself again. Tomorrow: tidy up and enrich the squash and tomato pots. Bring out the peppers to harden off for several HOURS, and then take them back to the grow lights, (It's a LONG walk, too!), and weedeat as necessary. I need to plant my strawberries that are under the grow lights, too, because they are blooming and sending out runners and even developing a few berries!! I just need to dump the dirt in the planters I have just for this and mix in the micronutrients and set the little strawberry plants (6 of them) into the planter. Easy peasy! Straw underneath so no weeds grow. And the berries will be DONE! (For this year. Except watering and fertilizer...and picking and eating! YUM!!) The strawberries taste so sweet to me since I never eat sugar and my taste buds aren't used to it. All fruit (a rare treat for me) tastes like candy.

I need some rest now. I know what I'm planting, what pots I'm going to clean up and enrich, and that is making it easier for me to do. Tonight was a real "make it or break it" with those tomatoes, and I'm glad I stayed up and helped the worst of the worst, and that they are responding. It was a learning experience for me. And I'm happy!

And with that, I bid you adieu.

Honeybera

[honeybera]

I'm going to write this while I'm still upset.

Mommy Dearest is at it again. Her birthday is April 18th, but for the first time in 70 yrs., I'm not Not NOT calling her to wish her a happy birthday. Way back when, when Brother Dearest was tossing her out of her elaborate and paid for house and into the nursing home she's in right now and liquidating all her assets into the more fluid cash (with which he bought his 2nd ranch by calling it "Mom's Ranch" ), he gave away or sold most of her stuff. I got the old lawn swing, and he delivered it. The entire canopy had been ripped, like with a knife. I later called him and asked that he come and get the torn up lawn swing, which he agreed to and then ignored me. That's been several years ago. And here it sits.

The ornate, curved, and painted steel frame on it is like new, but the canopy and seat are in serious disrepair, especially the canopy. I decided that if I could, I'd get it repaired. So I went out online and googled something like "canopy replacement", hoping that I could doll it up a bit and make it look nice. Well, I found a great company who does this type of thing, and they're relatively close to me. The only thing is that they need to know where you bought it and what model it is. Ok. I'll call MD and ask her where she and my father purchased it in 2005, and if she remembers what the model was called.

Fat chance! First she answered the phone, TV BLARING in the background, and she pretended to not hear me (one of her favorite games): "Hello? Are you there? Hello?" with me screaming into the phone, "It's ME! I'm here!!", and then she hung up. Then she refused to answer her phone when I called back. And that made me MAD! So I called back again...and again...and again, for like a full 15 minutes, over and over again, until she finally answered! I said hi and how are you, like nothing was wrong, and then asked where she had purchased the lawn swing. She said in an unfamiliar and feeble voice, "Whaaaat? I can't understand what you're saying. Are you on speaker? I can hear you, but can't understand what you're saying to me." So I slowed it WAYYYY down and enunciated each word for her. "Whaaaat??" and we played this ridiculous game for a minute or two. Finally I said in a normal voice, "Well, I don't want to stress you out trying to hear me, and all I have to do is take a picture of the swing and send it to the company to identify it, and they will send the new canopy." (She heard all that just fine!) Then her voice changed and the Methuselah's Mother voice disappeared, "No, wait. I can hear you fine now." But I was so irked, and I'd have none of that! I told her that she sounded like she needed some rest and I didn't want her hand to go to sleep from holding the phone (which is the way she controls and ends these calls when she's finished with me, almost like a dismissal). But this time I was the one ending it, and she stammered something into the phone about her hand wasn't going to sleep holding the phone yet, however I simply said a pleasant goodbye and hung up.

She's been getting away with this kind of nonsense for 70 yrs. now. And I have had it. I'm tired of being treated like this, where even simple information in answer to a legitimate question is turned into a manipulative game where she has to be the winner. I can see the game now. She is a master at the mean girl games. From the outside, it looks like her 'mean' daughter (me) isn't being sensitive to her elderly needs, but it isn't that. It's never that! Mommy Dearest is a shit stirrer! She loves to create drama and if someone's feelings get hurt, so what? She was bored, maybe. Or maybe feeling a bit ornery. And if they go away with hurt feelings, it doesn't bother her; at least she was entertained by it. Oh, she is a MONSTER!

I am NOT playing the game anymore. I am realizing that it takes two to play this game: one to dish it out and one to take it in. If I simply leave, GAME OVER. It puts me in control of me (and not her). I don't have to listen to it if I don't want to. I HAVE A CHOICE. I was a bit steamed when I first got here and began writing it all out, but now I feel a lot more empowered.

Today I got my 3 actual Black and Blue Salvia plants in the mail! They are gorgeous! No Black and Blue on them yet, but they're good healthy plants. Please do Google image Black and Blue Salvia - they are shockingly pretty. I had to have them for the hummingbird garden under my kitchen window. Pleasant. I deserve a little treat every now and then. One last Spring-like day tomorrow before the rain hits over the weekend. "April showers bring May flowers!" I'm actually right on schedule. So why should I let in the nasty poison like MD? The answer is, I'M NOT! And apparently, I can have a pretty new green canopy for my lawn swing, with or without MD. SO THERE!!

Honeybera

[Serenity]

Hi honeybera,

That certainly does sound like a frustrating game your mother likes to play. I'm glad you're able to see through it and not play along.

Serenity

[honeybera]

That certainly does sound like a frustrating game your mother likes to play. I'm glad you're able to see through it and not play along.

Yes, Serenity, that game gets frustrating after 70 yrs. of it, and yes, I have been able to see through it for decades now, just not the depth of it and the permanence of the outcome for me. I have finally accepted the fact that the game is set up so that I NEVER win. After all, it's her game. She makes the rules. But it IS up to me whether I play or not, and that's what I DO control. So I'm out of there. Nuts to it. Now it's just her and my brother. Serves them both right!

I do, however, still feel slighted when my own mother makes sure that my brother (and only sibling) is given millions of dollars worth of cash and property prior to her death, leaving me absolutely nothing. My father would not be in favor of these actions taken by both my mother and brother to shun me and leave me out, but my father is dead and never really protected me from her and her abusive and non-inclusive ways anyway. What she said went! So I have had to deal with this kind of gaming treatment all my life, even before my brother came on the scene when I was 10 yrs. old.

It does feel isolating though. Very, very isolating. I see these ads on TV that remind me how important family is, and I shudder. If they only knew my family, I believe that they would include a disclaimer. On one of the cable channels, they're rerunning the movie Mommy Dearest. The scene where Joan and Christina were having a swimming race that Joan had set up and insisted on, the only purpose of which was to soundly beat the child Christina and make her feel miserable, epitomizes the relationship between me and my own version of MD. I read Christina's book years ago and cried all the way through it. Such a relief to know that I wasn't alone in this, but sad that others had had the same treatment, too.

I believe I'll stick with Pete Walker and his book, John Bradshaw and his books, and attempt to find another T that understands how to help a victim of child, adult, and even elderly abuse. The last T had his own control issues. When I find someone that caustic, I need to acknowledge that and move on.

Honeybera

[honeybera]

Trying to find a T that accepts a) new patients and b) Medicare Plus insurance is a daunting task. Every day I'm getting more and more depressed. I'm imploding. The City is still upset because of a few weeds in my driveway. (It's a new person and she's promised to "keep an eye on" my home. Great.) My plants are doing fine, but won't be for long as I simply sit in my room and look out the window at what it is I need to do for them. My dear son barely comes into my room at all, and keeps his door shut tightly. Tomorrow is my dead father's birthday, and Mommy Dearest has controlled my ability to reach out to him and pay my respects to him because she has his cremains in her closet there at the old folk's home. I'd have to see her to honor him. Perfect control to the bitter end.

I still haven't seen my cousin R. I was sick, but am no longer. I am ugly as sin and fear rejection - although I don't know why. The "what-ifs" are defeating me. For days now, I sit here at my Window-on-the-World (W.O.W. for short) looking at my weed-filled garden area, frames and trellises stacked neatly, pots empty, tons of happy chores to do...and yet do NOTHING. I stare at it and think about doing it, but I feel like something is stopping me, and I know what it is: ME. But I cannot fathom WHY. Days go by. Weeks go by, and still I just sit here in my chair at my computer and watch the sun come up and go down and swear "I'll do it tomorrow". WHY????

I'm trying to find a T. I really am. I must have called a half dozen Ts today. I don't know what to do. To be depressed and to feel isolated at this time in my life I'm finding is quite normal. But the answer ...
===============================================================
I got a call today from a new T. He takes my medical insurance. He takes new patients. I've even told him what I NEED this time: a supportive person who can deal with C-PTSD, and he agreed. Seems nice enough. But if he says, "You're just like your mother. Haven't you accepted that yet?" like the other T did , then we are going to have an issue!!! But if he's nice and can assist me as I quietly leave my mother in my wake, I will happily keep him. I DO NOT NEED DEEP PSYCHOANALYSIS!! Man, that other T really irked me!!

But I'm going to try to give this new guy a fair chance. I see him on Saturday. I'm grateful for that. In fact, just having a new hope, I'm able to begin to move again. If I just sit around, it isn't healthy for me. I already began cleaning out my freezer to make room for a large 25 lb. bag of almond flour that I use all the time in baking. I got it for only $5.86/lb., a real steal for almond flour, but it has to be frozen or it molds!! And it's the best almond flour I've ever used. I also put away a $400 order from Netrition (dot com) for all my low carb goodies. I was out of everything.

I'm also going outside to "begin" working on my garden. It was overcast earlier, but now is a mix of sun and clouds, fine for weedeating and spreading my straw mulch for the first time ever. I'll need LOTS more bales of straw later, but as per Mark Twain:

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is
breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks and then starting on the first one.”
– Mark Twain

I also need to get over to Lowe's for the umpteen bags of garden soil/potting mix needed to fill up those raised beds. One step at a time. It makes me more cheery just knowing that I'll be meeting that new T on Sat. I'll stay in touch on here, too, if I may.

Honeybera