Letting go

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honeybera
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Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:32 am

Re: Letting go

Post by honeybera »

Hey Fleur! :mrgreen:
Fleur wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:22 pm Happy to be here with you
So glad you are! You are always welcome here. {{{{{Fleur}}}}}
Fleur wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:22 pm Gaming or watching too much TV are indeed eating into the day for too many people. Think you are smart to use them as a wind down time after a busy day
It was really eye-opening! I came to realize just how much time I had wasted, but I also saw that it was truly helpful at the time and that that time has passed. Now I get more comfort and joy from my current projects in reality rather than mere stress relief by immersing myself in fantasy. Much better this way! MUCH!! And more satisfying, too.
Fleur wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:22 pm Plants do have some strange beginnings - some are seeds, some need to be runners and strawberries long hairy roots - they will all hopefully grow strong and yield fruit for a long time
Yes, very strange to put in tiny seeds into a pot and a week or so later, have little tiny plants (like my basil and chives) pop up! It's why I garden. I gave the strawberries a few tablespoons of water last night. I need to get those in the ground right away so they don't begin to have root rot. I can have strawberries (as fruit on a ketogenic diet), so having this glut of 4 or 5 varieties isn't out of the question. I'm also getting a new upright freezer for the family room as soon as I get that room finished (N neglected to finish installing the vinyl plank floor, but not before ripping out my baseboards in that room and then leaving it - plus it could stand a coat of paint in there since we've lived here for 16+ yrs.) With the new freezer I can have a nice roomy place to freeze my fruit as it comes in AND make my Fat Bombs. Yes, that's what they're called. :lol: Google search "Keto Fat Bombs recipes" and you'll see TONS of them. Absolutely delicious! But they should be stored in a freezer, and my freezers are currently filled. DS wants me to make him some Fat Bombs "yesterday". It's one way to increase fat intake (a really positive thing on this WOE), they taste like candy or cheesecake, depending on which fat bomb you choose to make, but have NO SUGAR or grains in them. So I'm going to need more freezer space soon-ish for when the back yard fruits start coming in, but that's not until June at the earliest, so no worries, and also storage for the Fat Bombs and frozen muffins/cookies/biscuits/whatever I whip up. Plenty of time for the "Family Room Project" to be completed.
Fleur wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:22 pm Hear you around diet/weight - maybe, you have a plan that works for you, in that you are concentrating on what and when you eat; the rest can look after itself? Limiting self to one muffin a day, breaking fast at "right" hour for you, help too
Absolutely! But because I've been obese, even morbidly obese, for so many, many years, this may very well be fairly slow going for me. And as long as I'm seeing good results, I thank my lucky stars that there is anything that will do that! I just have to put on my big girl's pants, suck it up, and stay the course. It may take a year or two to get the weight off, but I could EASILY do this diet forever.

And those "muffins" aren't the bad kind of muffin. They do taste like they are, and they even LOOK like they are, but they are NOT. They're more like a potent, fiber-filled, gut-healthy and wholesome "treat" that's actually really good for me. And DS loves them, too! In fact, they are so tasty and smell so good while baking that DS mentioned that it's kind of difficult to not eat them all, but that he's only eating one per day. For me, there are days when I don't even have one at all. Still, it's one of my favorite recipes...so far.

I changed my mind. I think tonight I will make Chicken Cacciatore: stewed chicken thighs (bone in) in low carb canned spaghetti sauce with added onions, peppers, and Italian seasoning + fennel seeds! OMG YUM! Over stir-fried "riced" cauliflower! Mmm! Good Eats!! Lots of olive oil and a spinach/avocado/tomato/onion/marinated artichoke hearts salad! Yes, that sounds good!! I'm so gung-ho on this WOE I even make my dressing for my salad with Apple Cider vinegar + coconut oil (liquid) + homemade olive oil mayonnaise! :lol: And it tastes GREAT! Oh, plus a pinch of Celtic Sea Salt. Yeah, that's tonight's dinner. See if DS likes it, too.
Fleur wrote: Sun Feb 11, 2018 9:22 pm Wishing you a highly productive day
From your mouth to God's ear! I'd better get out there now, before the day is over. Strawberries to plant! :mrgreen:

Honeybera
Fleur
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Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: Letting go

Post by Fleur »

Hello Honeybera


Happy gardening day

Really great that you've found recipes to suit and your son enjoys as well as you


Cheers
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur
honeybera
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Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:32 am

Re: Letting go

Post by honeybera »

Fleur wrote: Mon Feb 12, 2018 12:35 am Happy gardening day
Thank you so much, Fleur. I was just in my bathroom where I use my counter-space and water source for my garden a few steps away. I finally took the Etiuda pepper seeds out of an old surviving pepper and left them out to dry. I also said hello to my new strawberries. I have got to figure out what is going on with me (AGAIN!) AND the answer to WHY I am not going (nay: RUSHING) out to plant my new strawberries!! There is something going on here, something old and ancient and deep rooted in me!!

I'm wondering if it's just my upcoming EYE SURGERY in the next 3 days. I AM TERRIFIED! They do give me a very strong sedative to ease the natural fears of having my EYE worked on! But I'm still scared! But I need to continue to plant my backyard for the springtime. The weather is cooling somewhat, but not bad. I AM PROCRASTINATING!!! I'm not lazy - no, it's more a feeling of being the deer in the headlights: terrified, but unable to move away from the threat. So I sit - or as Pete Walker calls it, FREEZE! I am not out to fight (FIGHT/RAGE) nor flight (PERFECTIONISM) nor fawn (GROVEL), but rather (FREEZE: "NO WAY I'll connect/HIDE"). Deer in the headlights. :shock:

I know (logically) that I have to have this done. It's hard to even see my computer screen or TV with 20/400 in my right eye. Once the surgery is done (about 10 min.), I will be able to SEE AGAIN, but WITHOUT GLASSES (for that right eye). It's a 95% chance of success without complications. And I can rest up at home as I wish. No boss to force me back to work too early.

So why, oh why am I not getting out there into the yard and enjoying my springtime planting??? Not doing cooking much, either. No housework (except what must be done). No motivation. No energy. I don't FEEL depressed and sad or even tired. What is WRONG with me?? Is it just FEAR?? Eyes and anything to do with eyes bothers me. I used to get styes on my eyes all the time when I was very little, and I can STILL remember going to the doctors office (in the 1940s) and them holding me down (with NO ANESTHETIC!!) and coming at me with the scalpel to "lance it" ("HOLD HER HEAD STILL!!!"), and then laying on the bed in the back bedroom at my grandma's house with this big patch on my eye and getting this creamy ointment put on my eye and the pain. Luckily, this time I'll be anesthetized quite well and will "see" nothing but some lights and colors (and NOTHING "coming at me"). I'm still a bit scared though. Old potent memories?? :?

Check out what Pete Walker has written re: freeze types:
Many freeze types hide away in their rooms and reveries fully convinced that the world of relating holds nothing for them. Freeze type who have not been totally turned off relationships by horrible childhood neglect or abuse, gravitate to online relationships. Online relating can be pursued safely at home with as little contact as desired.
Wow. I'll see if I can get to sleep tonight at a decent hour. See if I can get some garden work done and even plant some pepper seeds. In reality, Mother Nature's schedule is the only one that's important and immovable.

==========================================================(the next day, Tues.)

I PLANTED MY EVERSWEET STRAWBERRIES!!! :mrgreen:

Granted, I did it at the last minute, about 5pm with sunset at 5:40pm (not a lot of time), but I did it!! Tomorrow is the day before my surgery :shock: and I'm still scared, but the obvious choice is either just sitting here, feeling sad and scared and guilty, giving in to having soggy, rotted and eventually DEAD tiny little bare root strawberries as they putrefy on my bathroom countertop and then eventually throwing them out :cry: OR having 2 planters full of fat red strawberries welcoming and tempting me as I water them to please pick them, too, and pop one or two in my mouth...well, not much of a choice, really, and certainly enough to FINALLY get me up and OUT THERE this evening to plant them in my TALL planters. I'm SO glad I did! :mrgreen:

As I was out there, I also saw clearly my "complex overwhelming tasks" and mentally broke them down into "small manageable tasks" - now I need to "start on the first one", and that will come either tomorrow or Friday. I'll need part of tomorrow to fetch my eye drops and meds for prepping for the procedure. My surgery only takes about 10 min. (for the surgery itself), but the recovery is mostly coming off the drugs that they'll give me to calm me down. I'll be groggy for about a day, but then I'll be fine. Lots of sleep and rest for me. But having my eyesight back in my right eye and a renewed sense of depth perception will be such a blessing and help to me! No more struggling to SEE anymore, especially how far away things are. It's hard to walk in the garden and not trip on everything. I'm legally blind in that right eye at this time. It makes it hard to walk out there.

But after that rest up after the surgery, GARDEN! The weather has cooled here somewhat, but is still better than anywhere else, and our last frost has passed, although some overnight lows are in the UPPER 30s. The days are in the high 60s. Not bad for gardening! The tomatoes are in and under the grow lights for a few more weeks (PERFECT!!); peppers will have to wait a few days more. And I need to go pick up the other strawberry varieties and a B type avocado (probably another Bacon) to replace the one I killed with neglect. :cry: Plus I still have a good deal of clearing to do out there SO THAT WHEN the tomatoes are ready to be planted, I'll be READY to do just that! Last year: not until July!! :oops: And the year before that: LATE AUGUST! So I am improving! Our growing season is so long out here that I still get a little something, BUT this year will be more realistic! ;)

And so...my eversweet strawberries are IN!! YAY!!

And tomorrow is another day...so nighty night, dear Fleur. :mrgreen:

Honeybera


Getting better every day!

Honeybera
Fleur
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Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: Letting go

Post by Fleur »

Hello Honeybera


Totally understandable that eye operation is both desired and feared. From my observation only - the people who have best cataract recovery success (improved vision) are those who maintain the drops as prescribed daily for as long as Dr requests

Naturally, this planned surgery taps into the 1940s experiences... How could it not? All I can say is that as an adult, you will have more input and be more responsive, than as a child. I really do feel for your little girl self who underwent so many fearful situations

Celebrating with you that you have planted and tended seeds, strawberries and achieved what you wanted

Happy to sit in your pocket if you like to have long distance moral support for the day - and any time you wish

I have a tiny polished stone to remind me if iSurvive strength - might sound corny, but whatever is helpful and not harmful, is okay by me

May you and son have a safe journey to and from the Dr - and may God guide all the people involved in your care so you have best possible outcome


Much caring
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur
Jitterbug
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Posts: 1411
Joined: Tue Apr 09, 2013 2:51 pm

Re: Letting go

Post by Jitterbug »

Hi Honeybera,

Its been a while, but just stopping by to wish you all the best for your operation.

Warm caring,

Jitterbug
dancingfish
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Posts: 1308
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2014 9:39 pm

Re: Letting go

Post by dancingfish »

Wishing you all the best thoughts too. I think it's quite normal to be alarmed by things going near your eye, let alone if you've had previous unpleasant experiences!

Thank you for sharing with us, too. I always have wonderful pictures in my mind of your garden and all the fruits you may grow!
honeybera
Member
Posts: 1327
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:32 am

Re: Letting go

Post by honeybera »

(Thursday, the BIG DAY! = CATARACT SURGERY!)

Well, it's DONE. My eye feels like someone dropped a handful of hairs inside my eye and it's uncomfortable, annoying, and it sort of hurts. I'm hoping I just need some patience and lots of rest over the next few days. I got a special "toric" lens, very fancy. DS drove my car the 100 miles home, but I was definitely the "backseat driver". (I apologized to him once we got home!) :oops: I was also seeing huge RINGS OF SPARKLING RAINBOW COLORED LIGHTS (positive dysphotopsia) encircling every light I'd see, like street lamps, car headlights, or any bright light all the way home in the car. I'm hoping that will go away, too, with time. I'm still VERY dilated in my right eye, but that's to be expected. Plus I'm reading that I should have an eye patch shield for eye protection while sleeping, but I wasn't given one at the doctor's office. They have them at the Walmart, so I may send son down to get them. There's no way I should be driving at this time!

Tomatoes peeked their tiny heads up today. I am thrilled! Watered all plants under the grow lights before running off to the doctor's office. By the time I'm all healed up (mid-March), my tomatoes and peppers should be all nicely ready to be planted. Nice! Getting started on time this year!! :mrgreen:

♥Thanks to all of you♥ for your support for my surgery. It did my heart good knowing that you were behind me. :mrgreen:

Honeybera
Fleur
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Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 9:23 am

Re: Letting go

Post by Fleur »

Hello Honeybera


Although wonderful to read from you, are you sure that using a computer is a good idea so soon after the surgery?

Really relieved, pleased to hear that all went well. I'm certain if you have questions, you can contact the Dr. I'm supposing you have an instruction sheet?

Growing seedlings is such fun, very satisfying, to see seeds sprout then be big enough to go into garden

Wishing you and son a lovely weekend


Much caring
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur
there
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Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:41 am

Re: Letting go

Post by there »

honeybee,
Yay! You got the surgery done!
Hope you take it somewhat easy for a while. :)
All women are beautiful. Period.
I deserve better than survival.
honeybera
Member
Posts: 1327
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:32 am

Re: Letting go

Post by honeybera »

there wrote: Fri Feb 16, 2018 7:41 pm honeybee,
Yay! You got the surgery done!
Hope you take it somewhat easy for a while. :)
Thank you, there! I am so relieved! The doctor said that it was "a bit more complex" than a normal cataract surgery due to my having a "weak capsulary bag" and that something was "loose" in there, but that he'd reinforced it and that he was "very pleased" with his work. I slept for a solid 15 hours last night and awoke to no pain and much clearer vision! No scratchiness, not very blurry at all, and I can see better without my glasses than with them! HUZZAH!!! :lol:

The surgery itself was actually sort of pretty to see: a light show featuring 3 floating objects in a round circle changing colors and absolutely NO discomfort of any kind. Now I can see with a "teenager's clear lens" rather than my "70 yr. old" one, so I can see blues like never before! BRIGHT BLUES, like the sky, and even my toilet paper today had a noticeably brighter white to it. :lol: Reds are about the same, but their clarity is improved. I am THRILLED with what is happening!!
Fleur wrote: Fri Feb 16, 2018 9:12 am Although wonderful to read from you, are you sure that using a computer is a good idea so soon after the surgery?
Oh, ♥Fleur♥, dear friend, yes, I'm sure. Dr's orders specified that. They even tested my eye right after surgery (within an hour!) and it was improved to 20/60 from 20/400. That amazed me!! I'm sure it's even better now. :mrgreen: This doctor wrote a book called Cataracts: A Patient's Guide to Treatment (by Chang/Lee) and it's sold on Amazon. In it, he specifies that immediately after surgery one can "resume physical activities...as soon as you wish...You can read, use your computer, or watch television as much as you want." So that's what I'm doing. But your concern is greatly appreciated. {{{{Fleur!}}}} I have been sleeping (and healing) and using my handy-dandy black-out curtains to avoid so much brightness (that I'm not used to). I had the small-incision type of surgery, and they didn't even feel it necessary to give me any form of eye patch or shield after surgery. So I'm following the advice of the doctor who wrote the book and did my eye surgery, and of course, how my eye is feeling, and so far, so good! :mrgreen:
Fleur wrote: Fri Feb 16, 2018 9:12 am Really relieved, pleased to hear that all went well. I'm certain if you have questions, you can contact the Dr. I'm supposing you have an instruction sheet?
Oh, this is the BEST eye surgeon EVER!! I'm giving him a solid 5 star review on Yelp!!! The office staff is even top-notch! They have everything in writing and they make sure that whoever is helping you is aware of your needs. I felt great about all of this except during the 100 mile ride home when my eye was hurting and scratchy ("DO NOT RUB YOUR EYE!"), and we were hit directly in the face with a brightly glaring sunset through bumper to bumper traffic nearly all the way home!! UGLY time to say the least! In addition, once the blindly bright sunset was over and it was dark, I began to see HUGE BRIGHT rings of light around every light (which I described before), but blessedly they were gone by the morning (2pm for me after 15 hrs. of sleep! :lol: ) as was the pain and scratchiness. So I'm fine by now. Still on the mend, but ever so much better!!! :mrgreen:
Fleur wrote: Fri Feb 16, 2018 9:12 am Growing seedlings is such fun, very satisfying, to see seeds sprout then be big enough to go into garden
Isn't it though? My tiny tomatoes are continuing to grow. I believe that I'll start the peppers in the morning, but I just learned that we're about to have a rare frost from Monday-Wednesday, so I need to take care of my new EverSweet strawberries that I just planted outside as bare roots. I'll just set the planters up next to the house and that should do it. I just learned that this variety can stand the summer heat here, and that makes me very happy.

It's time for dinner now. I'm sort of tired, too, so I think I'll just eat and then rest my eyes. No need to get too bold with my wonderful success! ;)

Honeybera
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