Reaching out for a bit of support
Moderators: Harmony, quixote, ajei
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Re: Reaching out for a bit of support
Hi FB,
Wow your post is such an inspiration. You have had such insights and grown so much. I love that you are doing crossstitch for you. That is awesome. I am very sad that your ex "regrets" his son. I hope your ex experiences growth like you so your son won't feel his father's regret. Our children are our greatest gift.
Stitch away dear FB
PeacefulNinja
Wow your post is such an inspiration. You have had such insights and grown so much. I love that you are doing crossstitch for you. That is awesome. I am very sad that your ex "regrets" his son. I hope your ex experiences growth like you so your son won't feel his father's regret. Our children are our greatest gift.
Stitch away dear FB
PeacefulNinja
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Re: Reaching out for a bit of support
Thank you for your kind thoughts PeacefulNinja, Harmony and Fleur.
Fleur, my son is now 13, nearly 14. I have no idea where the time went.
Ex H is unfortunately not one of the nice guys. He is a narcissist and I am very very aware that even now, his behaviour is at times unwelcome. I have to have extremely firm boundaries with him which I stick to without any give - our conversations are only ever through email (which gives me the time and space I may need to ground myself if he triggers me intentially or not, and also proof of conversations if I ever need it), and only ever about our son. He does at times try to push those boundaries as a child would, and I am aware that he is testing to see if the boundary has moved. It never does. This is how I keep myself safe.
It's interesting you say about him being one of the men who live off another person... I have seen that pattern myself with his relationship to me and girlfriends since. Before I knew him I had a good job, my own house, a car, and many friends. Today... I have (my) son, and beginning again. The girlfriend that followed me was very similar in history, possessions and support circle - she is also beginning again, with two children. The girlfriend he currently has may come from a much wealthier background, but unlike either of us before, she has a good solid strong family around her. I sincerely hope this will be the difference for her. I am the only one (to my knowledge - past or present) who has a child with him, and previous marriage.
Hope you are well and have had a good few days with your son, and that you have a new solution to your washing machine. Take care.
Fleur, my son is now 13, nearly 14. I have no idea where the time went.
Ex H is unfortunately not one of the nice guys. He is a narcissist and I am very very aware that even now, his behaviour is at times unwelcome. I have to have extremely firm boundaries with him which I stick to without any give - our conversations are only ever through email (which gives me the time and space I may need to ground myself if he triggers me intentially or not, and also proof of conversations if I ever need it), and only ever about our son. He does at times try to push those boundaries as a child would, and I am aware that he is testing to see if the boundary has moved. It never does. This is how I keep myself safe.
It's interesting you say about him being one of the men who live off another person... I have seen that pattern myself with his relationship to me and girlfriends since. Before I knew him I had a good job, my own house, a car, and many friends. Today... I have (my) son, and beginning again. The girlfriend that followed me was very similar in history, possessions and support circle - she is also beginning again, with two children. The girlfriend he currently has may come from a much wealthier background, but unlike either of us before, she has a good solid strong family around her. I sincerely hope this will be the difference for her. I am the only one (to my knowledge - past or present) who has a child with him, and previous marriage.
Hope you are well and have had a good few days with your son, and that you have a new solution to your washing machine. Take care.
FB Delicately changing my name because I don't need to fight anymore.
Be true to yourself
Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it
Be true to yourself
Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it
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Re: Reaching out for a bit of support
Hi FB,
I like how you're noticing patterns and also how you've set boundaries and stuck to them!
Just a little sideline cheering
Sequoia
I like how you're noticing patterns and also how you've set boundaries and stuck to them!
Just a little sideline cheering
Sequoia
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Re: Reaching out for a bit of support
Thank you Sequoia
Boundaries are very important because it shows others that you have respect and belief for yourself, and in return I have respect for those around me. My boundaries are sometimes specific for different people as in ex h, or the woman who lives above me, but on the whole I am warm, welcoming and approachable because that is the core of who I am - I'm just not prepared to be walked over any more.
Patterns are interesting aren't they! Patterns to me mean a lesson is being taught that (I) haven't grasped (yet). Patterns make me look into something more deeply to try to find out why... and what can I do about it. I am acutely in tune now with my body and what is going on around me, and it keeps me safe and well.
Boundaries are very important because it shows others that you have respect and belief for yourself, and in return I have respect for those around me. My boundaries are sometimes specific for different people as in ex h, or the woman who lives above me, but on the whole I am warm, welcoming and approachable because that is the core of who I am - I'm just not prepared to be walked over any more.
Patterns are interesting aren't they! Patterns to me mean a lesson is being taught that (I) haven't grasped (yet). Patterns make me look into something more deeply to try to find out why... and what can I do about it. I am acutely in tune now with my body and what is going on around me, and it keeps me safe and well.
FB Delicately changing my name because I don't need to fight anymore.
Be true to yourself
Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it
Be true to yourself
Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it
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Re: Reaching out for a bit of support
Dear FB
Thank you for your messages about your son and former H
Great that you have set strong boundaries
Safe hugs
Thank you for your messages about your son and former H
Great that you have set strong boundaries
Safe hugs
Onward to a safe community for all people in which to thrive ~ gentle hugs [if okay] ~ Fleur
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Re: Reaching out for a bit of support
Hi FB,
Here's to a very happy birthday, followed by a great year.
May you have everything necessary for your healing journey.
Warm regards,
Here's to a very happy birthday, followed by a great year.
May you have everything necessary for your healing journey.
Warm regards,
Xanthia
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Re: Reaching out for a bit of support
Aww Thank you for your thoughts and wishes Xanthia.
I hope you are well. xx
I hope you are well. xx
FB Delicately changing my name because I don't need to fight anymore.
Be true to yourself
Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it
Be true to yourself
Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it
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Re: Reaching out for a bit of support
Happy Birthday Fightinback!!!
warmly,
recover
warmly,
recover
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Re: Reaching out for a bit of support
Thank you for your blessings recover.
Hope you are also well. xx
Hope you are also well. xx
FB Delicately changing my name because I don't need to fight anymore.
Be true to yourself
Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it
Be true to yourself
Never sacrifice who you are just because someone has a problem with it