Can you help me answer this one question??

[Periwinkle]

Deep inside I've always felt or believed that I will die without my FOO being in my life.

Why is this so?

[Silent]

Hi Peri,

I wonder if it could be that they have trained you so well in thinking that you are extensions of them that you cant imagine being able to exist without them?
When we are made into a caretaker then our power is totally taken away from us
Just a thought. Hope you figure it out.

[Periwinkle]

Hi, Silent......

Thanks for responding. I am really sincere about getting help with answers for this question.

[Squiggy]

Nothing but good can happen from cutting an abusive family out of one's life as one would a cancer. I've been much happier since I got rid of mine, knowing that they are no longer around to make life miserable or try to prevent me from doing the things that I want to do.

[Periwinkle]

Thank you, Squiggy..........i hope to do that. Right now i am really struggling with this core belief. I feel like an idiot even talking about it. It's embarrassing........it really is. I hate this so much. I'm glad you got relief from going no contact.......very encouraging to me.

[Lydia]

Peri,

I can't speak for your foo, for my own, my parents indoctrinated how much I needed them when I was a child. I wasn't allowed to have my own opinion, they always spoke for me and told me how I should feel (no matter how poorly they behaved). Even now, they are "waiting" for me to come crawling back because of how much I "need" them. It's been a few years now, wonder how long it will take for them to get it.

IMHO, It's the spacious vacuum of a narcissists ego. They cannot believe that I can possibly survive without them.

Lydia

[Magical Thinker]

((((Periwinkle))))

Your question is very good. For me, the feelings of anehilation came when my mother died along time ago. I was an adult, or so I thought. But as an abuse victim, my cognitive and emotional states (a good many parts of me) were, and still are infants and children who have not grown beyond the trauma (although we are working very hard at it). Any child at a young age would literally die without its parent or an adult caretaker. I'm not certain that's why you feel the way you do. If not please disregard my answer. I know you will work this through. Please take gentle care of yourself.

Love,

Magical Thinker

[Periwinkle]

Hi, Lydia.....

Thanks for your post.

[Periwinkle]

Hi, Magical Thinker....

I relate very much to what you shared, MT.

Love,
Peri

[bug]

Peri,
I'm afraid I do not have any answers for you. But I wanted to let you know I'm listening and that you absolutely don't need to feel embarrassed for this. These things are tangled very tightly into our lives and it takes a very long time and a lot of work to untangle it without tearing ourselves to bits. You are doing great work.

Much love,
bug