Nudity as Punishment

[juliewr]

I have only really talked to my one sister in depth about it. She was there for most and experienced the same things, more or less.

My parents controlled our bodies in every way they could, using fear, humiliation and physical pain, lots of physical pain.

I have always had a hard time with the way they talked about my private parts. It was nothing for my parents to comment on my pubic hair, pull my pubic hair, make me bend on ways to show my butt hole, comment on my butt hole and they even spanked my butt hole.

I had my vagina slapped a few times.

Twice I had my boobs slapped with my dads hand and once my mom smacked them several time with a ruler.

Basically, my body was theirs. The sexual stuff got more and more as I got into my teens, especially my later teens.

[Ashia]

Hi juliewr

How did you find talking about your experiences with your sister? As a member here, I have written about things that have happened to me and found it really helpful in sharing with others who have experienced childhood trauma. In 3d, I haven't always had the same good experience. Either online or offline, there is the potential to trigger others who have also been hurt as children. This is why I find seeing my T helpful, as an outside, objective person. Do you think seeing a T would be something helpful for you? There's no pressure from me. Do know that my asking comes from my heart and a place of real caring.

Ashia

[juliewr]

I have 2 sisters, one who thinks my parents did everything right and we deserved everything that happened to us. The other one, who is 6 years younger than me, also believes my parents were abusive to us and hates everything about what they did.

Talking with her is helpful at times because she experienced the same abuse and, many times, witnessed my abuse. She has been helpful at filling in some of the holes in my memories as well.

It can also be hard because when I left home I was 18 and she was 12. She had 6 more years of their abuse after I left that I really didn't know much about...I got married and kept away from the family for a while at 18. When she tells me about some of the brutal things my parents did to her, and my other sister, after I left it can be upsetting. When I was there I would sometimes take blame, and the ensuing beating, for things that they may have done.

[leighs]

I feel a little bit reluctant in posting because I know that what I am about to say might be upsetting to some people.

This post and this topic really caught my attention and resonated with me. I had a similar but different experience. To be honest, I have been sometimes confused my whole adult life trying to sort of reconcile it in my head. I will try to explain without rambling on.

Growing up, all of my punishments consisted of spanking. I was never grounded, I was never given extra chores, I was never made to write lines, or any of the other sort of typical punishments. But one thing was for sure: everything was handled with a spanking.

I have read many accounts over the years and I have spoken with many survivors who describe their spankings as being brutal and severe. Many people, like the ones here, also describe nudity as being deeply humiliating. They describe their parents or their abusers as being verbally degrading.

And this is where I am a bit confused. What I mean is, I am a bit confused on what or how I should classify my own experiences.

My parents strongly believed in consistency. They believed in a specific routine for each and every spanking.

All of my spankings involved nudity. I was always at least bottomless, but most of the time I was completely naked.

I am conflicted because my parents do not necessarily fall into the category of your typical abusers. What I mean is, they never raised their voice, never used foul language, never used any sort of degrading vernacular. They were thorough and matter of factly. We always had open-hearted spirited conversations.

I never feared my parents. And I did not necessarily fear the actual spanking. I always felt like they gave me lots of opportunity to express myself and to express my feelings. I feel like they were almost generous with their love and compassion and understanding.

But all of the love and understanding aside, once there was an understanding, then it was time to undress completely, put my clothes away, and surrender for a spanking. Sometimes the spankings were mild, sometimes spanking's were quite firm. But they never lost control during any of the spankings.

I was put into positions that caused a significant amount of exposure, but they never commented any kind of derogatory or degrading words about me or my anatomy. It was just I suppose a matter of convenience or access.

After the spanking, I usually had a few minutes of time out in the corner. After that, I was most often required to remain naked for a certain amount of time, which usually meant bedtime. And there were times when the nudity was extended over a day or two or more.

They were quite clear that was not intended to be any type of humiliation whatsoever. And at the time it did not feel like humiliation. Their mindset was that it somehow helped me reflect upon whatever the issue might have been. At the time it was always just normal to me and I never really questioned it. During the awkward years of puberty, I definitely felt things more keenly and I expressed those feelings to my parents. They did take a lot of time to help me through those feelings and help me to understand that nudity is not necessarily a bad thing and is not something to be ashamed of. I never felt ashamed of my body or nudity, but I did feel ashamed of my behaviors that earned me spankings.

I have and have always maintained a very close relationship with my parents. I am close to 40 years old with a family of my own and they are wonderful grandparents. I have, however, made it clear that we do not tolerate spankings for our own kids and they have not questioned that.

So this brings me to my confusion at times in my adulthood. Hearing how other people were spanked and forced naked, put in very vulnerable situations and positions, I wonder... Was a actually abused? I hate to think that my parents abused me because I feel like generally we have a good relationship.

I was the victim of ongoing sodomy and rape from an uncle who was often closely involved in my upbringing. My parents had no clue about it at the time and when I finally did come out with that information, they fiercely sought justice. Let's just say that thankfully the police found my uncle before my dad did. Otherwise there would be one less person on this planet.

Anyways, I apologize for the rambling confused rant here. This is my first posting and I am grateful that this group exists.