Healing and Letting go

[shetoocomplex]

Hello
Part of my letting go and healing process is my decision to write a letter to my abuser. I was looking over some tools of recovery from another program and saw that writing a letter and even if it's an angry letter may help with recovery. I'm not sure what I will say but I have a lot to say. Unfortunately and fortunately my abuser is deceased and have been over some 10 or more years ago. However I have always held resentments inside as I never had the chance to say anything to him. I'm hoping this letter will provide some relief. Thanks for listening.

[Harbor]

Hi shetoocomplex

I think that's a great idea to help organize your thoughts and get them all out on the table. Abusers tend not to respond in a helpful way to being confronted, so the fact that they are no longer living is probably not essential to the process. The letter is a tool for you. You can keep the letter, or perhaps perform some sort of ritual to "send" it to them. I would say that you should express any feelings that occur as you write the letter.

[there]

she toocomplex,
It doesn’t matter that much if the abuser is deceased. What matters is that you can express your feelings towards them about the abuse, how it’s affected you, how you’re doing.
You can say what you would want to say to their face. Or what you never could say. You could be as angry, sad, or as calm as you want. You can even tell them they’re not going to win, you’re going to do great in spite of them.

Please take or leave any of these ideas as you like. It’s your life and your choice.

[Broken]

I really like this a lot. I do a LOT of writing as part of my therapy. I does a few things for me...1 I can let out everything, even the goriest details I cant imagine ever telling anyone. It's a wonderful outlet. It also allows me to go back and see what steps and how many steps I have taken in my personal healings. I can see where I was then vs now. In terms of a letter...its a wonderful way to address those people who maybe unreachable, or just plain to destructive or dangerous for us to approach.
Best wishes to you .

[Booklover]

This is a good idea and have often wanted to do something similar myself but not sure what to say.

[Broken]

I just write what i'm thinking and feeling. Trust me, my writing was so broken and all over the place when I started. But it didn't take long for it to come together and start making sense.

You may also want to just jot down thought you've had or helpful tod buts you've heard, even questions you may want to come back to later

[johnram]

I think writing is a terrific process, i find it hard to feel often, but the pen brings things up and out

[tortes]

I just did this myself.. All the feelings ive held in for so many years i got it all out and although it was hard, extremely emotional and made me feel raw , i felt a huge sense of relief once it was all out . I agree the letter is for you not the abuser, do it for yourself i think you will find it very theraputic. ((hugs)) and healing vibes your way - Tortes