cut the ties that bind me

[Chiquitta]

Hello to all of you,
Back in November of last year, I decided to cut the ties that binded me; my parents, and my siblings. They live the other end of (removed place name) about 5 hours by plane away from me. I decided to tell my story of abuse. Since then, I have not heard from them. They are probably in denial for all the wrongs that they did to me. My husband and kids had noticed that when my side of the family came to visit me or phone me, that my anxiety would rise, my ocd would start and perfectionism would occur. Well, I am glad to say, that for now, hoping forever, that my anxiety, ocd and perfectionism is gone. I feel so free and happy for making such a decision on my own. Telling a story of abuse is never an easy one. Backlash can occur. The survivor has to decide what is best for him or her. Take care.



Chiquitta

[Xanthia]

Chiquitta,

Celebrating with you!

[there]

Yay!!!!!

[silentmoon]

Hello Chiquitta!

I am so happy for you that you made that decission. And that you also got so clearly better not meeting your parents and siblings. Your siblings know what´s happened or?

I am curious if you have written about this anything more. I am planning of doing this myself anytime soon and I am not really sure how to do it. You are so right that the survivor has to decide what is best for him or her. Still, I am struggling with this. Mom is already 76, dad is just 67.

Really happy for you that you still are having it good and is you with your decission! *hugs* (if wanted)

[cricket]

Thank you Chiquita

I know your post is from a while back. I too am struggling with this & haven't been so brave as you & I find it hard to post here for the same reasons as everyone else. The bravest I've been is to firmly decide that I will not visit 'home' again.

I have such huge admiration for you.

Cricket

[Chiquitta]

Hi there,
I may have sounded strong when I cut the ties, but it became a bad decision. I decided to confront them and find closure. I live in peace now and do not live in fear. Do what u need to do in order to move on in life. Everyone has a choice. When I went to see my parents for a period of one month, I got the opportunity to get to really know them and where they came from. It helped me to understand them. My mom is 76 and my dad is 90. I have made peace in my life now and I shall treasure this feeling for as long as I shall live.



Chiquitta

[ajei]

Glad you have found some resolution that suits you Chiquita...living in peace sounds good. Take care of yourself.

ajei

[Chiquitta]

Thanks, May we all find peace......


Chiquitta