Healing and Letting go

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Healing and Letting go

Post by shetoocomplex » Sun Jan 06, 2019 9:56 pm

Part of my letting go and healing process is my decision to write a letter to my abuser. I was looking over some tools of recovery from another program and saw that writing a letter and even if it's an angry letter may help with recovery. I'm not sure what I will say but I have a lot to say. Unfortunately and fortunately my abuser is deceased and have been over some 10 or more years ago. However I have always held resentments inside as I never had the chance to say anything to him. I'm hoping this letter will provide some relief. Thanks for listening.

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Re: Healing and Letting go

Post by Harbor » Sun Jan 06, 2019 10:29 pm

Hi shetoocomplex

I think that's a great idea to help organize your thoughts and get them all out on the table. Abusers tend not to respond in a helpful way to being confronted, so the fact that they are no longer living is probably not essential to the process. The letter is a tool for you. You can keep the letter, or perhaps perform some sort of ritual to "send" it to them. I would say that you should express any feelings that occur as you write the letter.
"'Safe Harbor' is a state of mind... it's the place - in reality or metaphor - to which one goes in times of trouble or worry. It can be a friendship, marriage, church, garden, beach, poem, prayer, or song." -Luanne Rice

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Re: Healing and Letting go

Post by there » Fri Jan 11, 2019 10:05 pm

she toocomplex,
It doesn’t matter that much if the abuser is deceased. What matters is that you can express your feelings towards them about the abuse, how it’s affected you, how you’re doing.
You can say what you would want to say to their face. Or what you never could say. You could be as angry, sad, or as calm as you want. You can even tell them they’re not going to win, you’re going to do great in spite of them.

Please take or leave any of these ideas as you like. It’s your life and your choice.
"I wanna watch the ocean bend---the edges of the sun then---i wanna be swallowed up---in an ocean of love"
from 'Ventura' by Lucinda Williams

"I used to be abused. Now I'm just amused."

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