Hello/Intro

[Whycantweallbekind]

I am tired of being an actor in my own life. The reflexive answer of “fine” when asked how I am no longer is able to escape my lips, and when it does, I immediately feel ashamed of the lie.

I am a 46 yo woman who was sexually and physically abused by my brother throughout my childhood. I held the secret with only limited pieces escaping my lips until around the time I turned 40. The story came out as an explosion. At the time I was also dealing with a traumatic incident at work, and it all got marbled up in CPTSD. In college, I was the victim of sexual assault at a party which I can’t recall the details of due to dissociation.

I entered therapy and was able to disclose the abuse to my family. It did not go well. My parents showed support yet didn’t hold my brother accountable and my sister wanted to pretend like nothing ever happened. Most of the extended family never found out. I have one Aunt and cousin that are supportive, however they live at a distance. I mostly consider myself estranged from my family.

So here I am, six years later. I have a husband, two teenage daughters, and the dog I got myself when I fell apart six years ago-kind...a sort of, therapy dog, but she’s crazy too, so it’s ironic.

Anyhow, I’m starting to ramble. I’m glad to have found a community I can identify with and also very sorry that there is a community of people that feel this pain.

[the husband]

Hello Whycantweallbekind

I'm glad you are here. You don't have to be "fine" here, and we will sit with you however you are feeling.

[Serenity]

Hi Whycantweallbekind,

Welcome to isurvive. I'm glad you've found us.

With care,
Serenity

[Jonesy]

Hi Whycantweallbekind

A warm welcome to isurvive

[fight4me]

Hi
Wycantweallbekind

Welcome to this very wonderful safe place

You can say as much or as little as you want to

I know that feeling well
“FINE”

In work it has to be fine

It’s a hard road we all travel but the nice thing is we are not alone

[flowermelt]

Hello, I too am new to this forum. I too suffered abuse from my brother. : ( I really feel for you, and I too have been estranged from my family. To be honest, it ripped our hole family to shreds. : ( It's great to relate to each others and find even the littlest bit of positive in this absolutely soul destroying situation! Please take care and know I am here as are others who understand and relate 100% to your pain and heart ache. xxx

[Whycantweallbekind]

Thank you for all the kind words.

[solana]

welcome! i like your name. i also wish everyone could be kind. while that's not always the case out in the general world, i have found everyone on this forum to be incredibly kind.