New Member

[LadyBug]

I chose the username LadyBug because that's what my mom called me when I was a child. As a child I suffered from molestation from my older brother/brothers. To this day I don't know if it was one or both that continuously committed the act, it was too dark to see. But I feel like I lost part of myself, and that little girl is trapped inside me. It's hard to explain. Has anyone else ever felt like that? Fast forward to two years ago, I had a stalker who followed me almost everywhere and a few months after I was raped by my mom's close friends "nephew" who was in fact not her nephew but a convict. If I never had to live with her I know I would have never wound up being raped. I tell her and she treats me like crap after and practically kicks me out. I join the military, it was the only thing saving me from winding up on the streets because I was so far from home. A year into the military I wind up in at a coworkers house who I thought I could trust, only to wake up and find him touching me in my sleep. I got away before anything could happen, but I just feel like I'm cursed and I can't escape it. I began having panic attacks at night, jumping out of bed not being able to breathe. But now it's happening while I'm awake. Idk what to do at this point but pray it doesn't become more often. There's so much I just need to, talk about and get out. And that's when I found this website. I never really felt like I had a voice, or that it mattered. I hope things will be different here.

[Harmony]

Welcome Lady Bug,

You are very much heard here. There is company in those who understand and stand with you. What happened to you was wrong. It was not your fault. It is possible to heal yourself if you feel ready. Do you have the assistance of a therapist? It was helpful to me. So glad you found our safe space on the internet.

welcome new member,

Harmony

[Harbor]

Welcome LadyBug

I'm glad you've found us. We hear you loud and clear.

[Jonesy]

Hi LadyBug

A warm welcome to isurvive

[Ashia]

Hi LadyBug

Welcome to isurvive. I hope you find all the caring and support you're looking for.

Ashia

[LadyBug]

Thank you for the warm welcome everyone, it really means a lot. @Harmony I was seeing a therapist but he got relocated around the beginning of January. It's been a year since I've talked to anyone, but I think it's about time I set something up. Talking to someone kinda took me back and I had mood swings, but I also feel like it was helping me at times too.