Saying hello

[Shirley]

Ws,

That’s no good.

I think your right we should listen to our bodies.
My main trigger is anything red wine. If I see it on tv or in person or hear the words. Floors me. I can literally taste it smell it, nauseous, anything. It throws me off for quite a while. The amount of times I’ve freaked out in public because of it and embarrassed myself. Just have to try new things for it I guess.

Shirley

[Shirley]

So I just had a phone call from the detective who got transferred my case. Just letting me know he received it and that I can add to my statement. He’ll be away for a few weeks then in 3-4 weeks he will be doing the interview and speaking to my grandfather my abuser, the head of the family who everybody loves.
Feeling nervous now. My family aren’t supportive of me since they found out what happened so their definately going to be annoyed when they find out I reported him. My brother is the only one I told that I reported it and he now won’t return my calls.

Nervous anxious emotional.

Shirley

[Xanthia]

Hi Shirley,

Sounds like having the detective phone you was a courtesy call, to inform you what is going to happen. I can imagine that could also be bothersome, hence your anxiety. Perhaps taking some slow deep breaths might ease your tension.

Seems to me that some abusers, like your grandfather, are beloved - yet have abused that trust by hurting someone in their family. I'm really sorry that he chose to harm you.

I'm also sorry about your brother not returning your calls.

Despite all that is going on, may you have peaceful and pleasant moments this weekend.

With care,

[Shirley]

Hi Xanthia,
Yeah there’s a lot of hidden secrets in my family. on the outside it looks like a well known large poster family that has to keep up its reputation.
On the inside it’s all betrayal and lies.
Haven’t been able to get that man off my mind all day. Makes me so angry a person can control me like that.

Shirley

[Xanthia]

Hi Shirley,

Get what you mean about a poster family looking great from outside but really isn't so good for all family members.

Hopefully you can find some way to reduce your anger, useful distraction for getting thoughts on nicer topic.

At various times I've tried writing, doodling and other art/crafts, music, movies, using strong smells (lavender, eucalyptus for example), exercise, gardening, ripping old telephone books. You could have mindfulness/grounding ideas you've discussed with your T that might assist. My most successful distraction is to take a hike, noticing surroundings - the natural environment soothes me.

With care,

[Shirley]

Hey Xanthia,
I’m just nervous about everybody finding out. All I got was verbal abuse and called liar and bounded to shut up, so not keen on their reaction to this.
Haven’t done mindfulness before. But I walked my dog today, did some house work, and had a swim in my pool with music on.
I’m just nervous of them finding out that’s all.

Shirley

[Xanthia]

Hi Shirley,

Totally understandable you feel nervous about family response once they become aware of the investigation. You have shared there's little to no contact, so hopefully, family members will continue keeping their distance.

Thanks for saying about your day - walking and swimming sound fun. Care to share about your dog? It's OK either way.

May you have a brighter weekend.

With care,

[Shirley]

Xanthia,
My dog Missy is an American staffy who is 10 but still very active and is my shadow. I got her from a rescue shelter as a young pup who had been abused and abandoned. She has separation anxiety but over the years has settled. She’s my security as I live alone so I guess we help each other. She’s also my daughters best friend. She comes to me with her head down low wagging her tail when she knows I’m upset or crying and licks me like mad. She definitely helps me that’s for sure. They pick up energy very well and has picked me up many times.
Like weekends like this where I’m alone.

Shirley

[Xanthia]

Hi Shirley,

Missy sounds a wonderful canine companion. Thank you for describing her.

I agree that our pets can detect our emotional state and behave accordingly.

May you each continue enjoying the other's companionship.

With care,

[Shirley]

Xanthia,
Yeah Missy is great.
Right now I’m just trying not to think about my family. I hope these 3 weeks go quickly I know they won’t.
I’m doubting myself. Am I making something out of nothing and hurting my family for nothing. We were never a close family. At least my brother and I weren’t with them. And now I’ve lost them all before they even know he’s being investigated.
I also have to email anything else I want added in the statement. But my witnesses are lying or my brother won’t return my calls.
I’m on a roller coaster again and I’m so emotional. I’m angry I let it go on for so long. And that still comes up for me.

Shirley