#MeToo Reactions

[there]

What do you think or feel about all the allegations and firings that have been rolling out non-stop for weeks?

Not sure if all this is triggering me. I 've had trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep in the past several days. I know this has already been unfolding for a while.
My T said she was shocked that Matt Lauer was called out and fired. I told her I was not at all. T is not trained in trauma but in art therapy. Ok.

I thought about posting #Metoo on my Facebook page. I have been avoiding facebook for a couple of weeks now, because I'm trying to build a real social life in 3D. I just wouldn't know where to start and don't know if I want to field responses anyways.
I

[Harmony]

Dear there,
Since you asked this is My Own Opinion not as a moderator:
I have found the "me too" movement empowering. The fact that men in power who have sexually abused women are paying a cost. Men are losing jobs, publicly being called out and even losing an election. This gives me hope. It means people believe women now.

Imagine if someone had believed me as a little girl? I might have even tried to tell. I knew back then that I had to swallow it and be a good girl no matter what. Hurt wasn't heard. Now we hear about hurt openly, on TV and in the media. This is change for the good in my opinion. Time will tell.

thanks for asking,
Harmony

[there]

Harmony,
Yes, it really is change for the better.It's high time!
I really can't count the # of times I've been sexually harassed.
Sexual harassment is, I guess, a type of SA.

There are a lot of things that need to change in this world.

[iwillthrive]

there,

I have thought about posting it too. I love that women are coming forward. I agree with harmony - what would have happened if we could have come forward and been believed? How different our lives would be.

iwt

[DewDrop]

My dear friend there,

I am unable not to reply to your post, as it is so so very triggering here... i feel it I cannot stop, so I do hope that this is not seen as bad or offensive, but I bet it will be, I’m so sorry...

(I’m sorry there!)

Well, first I must reassure all, that I support each individual in processing and sharing their trauma in whatever way is best for them, and I am glad that so many People are feeling more comfortable and believed in sharing their stories.

The #metoo phenomenon misses the mark very badly in one aspect. Sexual assault and sexual harassment are most definitely Not gender issues. At all. Not even a little. Many of the men who have been recently outed for there behavior are vile human beings. I even know one of them and it makes sense to me. Here is the big problem... Women are also perpetrators of sexual harassment and sexual assault... a lot more than society is willing to accept. A whole lot more.

If I went on social media, with a “me too”’ there would be many upset people asking me to make space. Or maybe it would be more acceptable if done by a male insider who sexually prefers males... that seems slightly more accepted(not the insider part) these days.

For those who don’t know “me”, we have both genders within a male body, and varying sexual preferences. We have been sexually abused by both genders, starting from a young chronological age. By the gague being used currently, I would be able to say that we have been sexually harrased by tons of women and many men. We can say similarly that we have been casually sexually abused very many times as well.

It is a huge problem in this society. Girls, boys, woman and men are sexually harrased and abused by men and woman(and girls and boys, as a result of their own abuse)

Men and boys are not seen as vulnerable. No one talks about boys getting abused by women, or when they do, it comes with a”lucky boy” attitude. With society’s perception of men not being vulnerable, and as being perpetually wanting of any sexual contact with any woman at any time. It simply isn’t true. Some of us don’t like it. Please don’t butter me up, I don’t need the ego boost. When two random affluent women offered us money for sex, I didn’t like it. We didn’t like our former boss sitting on our lap whenever she choose, or being told I got hired because of my looks, or paying much less than equally qualified individuals of the opposite gender. I didn’t like my son’s former teacher’s inappropriate comments/guesses as to the size of my genitals. I dont like all the bad stuff that happened a long time ago.

Can we please just agree that sexual harassment and sexual abuse are horrible horrible things? Can we do that without Falsely positioning such statements within the context of gender inequality?
Instead, currently we further divide ourselves. Can we please stop dividing ourselves over bs? Do we not all agree that SA/harrasment done by any individual to any individual is disgusting?
Another close friend just passed away, she was born with a male body. I wonder if any of this societal bs played into that.

I have friends here, whom we have known for quite some time now, and I still don’t feel comfortable being here mostly now. SU is a lingering thought, and it would be nice to not be so alone, but it is soooo hard. I can’t imagine what it would be like to just now be starting trying to deal with trauma as a male. I am afraid that so many people are being hurt so bad by this like we are. I miss all of my friends here so much. I am sorry .

Now we probably have less friends. I am sorry.

I don’t like people being treated differently because of their gender, and that is what is happening here.

I feel demonized for having a male body.

I have not felt comfortable participating in the context of a survivor forum recently for that reason. The media barrage is relentless. It won’t leave us alone. This “movement” has caused such major struggles here, on top of everything. Things were maybe improving before, but we can’t communicate with any of our support, T included. Completely skipped T this week even though there is some major heavy stuff going on. Even when in session, sharing is not allowed. It sucks. Anyway, I feel like I’m spinning in circles typing. My point is just to illustrate the Damage being inflicted currently by the #metoo sphere.

In some ways #metoo shows progress, but society’s dualistic blinders man be causing more harm than good.

I want to die so bad right now thinking about it.

I’m sorry for hijacking your thread. Been trying to post about this for so long, and then we saw this thread. I know that tone doesn’t always translate in writing, so I want to make it clear that we are upset at No One here, certainly not you, friend.

[Harmony]

Dear Dewdrop,
I agree this me too phenomena has less to do with gender than it does with power, control and coercion.

with care,
Harmony

[iwillthrive]

DewDrop,

I was abused by both, My brother was abused by a woman, and I have different parts with varying preferences. I hear what you are saying. I hadn't looked at it that way before your post. I also have concern for those who are falsely accused.

I guess for me the thing is that it is bringing the issues into the public eye for the first time and I see that as progress. If you could have come forward. If I could have. If any of us could have - what a difference that would have made for our lives. That is the progress that I see with the movement.

Abuse is abuse is abuse and harassment is hararassment no matter the genders involved. It's all wrong.

I hope you know that I think that you can share no matter what your thoughts and feelings are.

[there]

Dewdrop,
I agree with iwt, that you can whatever you're thinking or feeling here.
I get what you're saying, feeling. I was abused sexually by both genders, too.
Males get SA'd, too.

Early in my healing, I tried to come forward to a T. Before mental health field recognized trauma from SA, I did.
I was disbelieved by T and told I was lying. I knew better and didn't stuff it back down just because of T's failure. But I got no support from any T for a long time because of their ignorance and ignorance in the form of ignoring my truth.

There are so many aspects of SA that aren't being acknowledged, and it sure isn't just a gender issue.
So many humans in the world have been SA'd for generations.

Agree about the dualistic blinders of society. Good/bad. White/Black. Male/Female. Everything is seen as competition between two supposed opposites.
There's a whole picture, and we as a society need to see it.

You speak truth. It's sexual abuse and sexual harassment that are wrong. Not a gender.

I love you, Dewdrop and all.

[reisha]

great thread!!

agree w/ most alla whats been said here. & 'in general' agree w/ what dewds said. - in that, the ~general public~ thinks this issues is along gender lines. (we all know better!!) its about power, & control. ( & alla it sick & twisted)
i did 'out' myself on FB. dinna get into any details, other than to say i'd been molested as a child, hit on at school/work, & been raped; & that i dinna like ANY-A it. what prompted me to do was so was wunna my (male) ex-co-workers, a black man who wrote of his rape as a child - he told no one, until his folx, & that was a full 30+ yrs after the fact. the 'me too' thing sumhow gave him a safe space to Tell His Truth. for sumone who'd *kept the secret/shame* silent for so long, he wrote very eloquently about what happened, & how its affected him, his life. there were one or two 'jerk' responses, which quickly got 'jumped on'. he said that the outpouring of support he got was beyond his *expectations*.

for myself, i do find it all kinda triggering. what really perplexed me was i wrote on the 'goddess' page sumtin to the effect-a 'who among us hasna ben held too tightly by a stranger - either family friend or relative - when we were small, who hasna been the 'target' of unwanted (sexual) attention at work/school, who hasna most likely been 'date raped'? its the price of bein female in this society (sorry, dewd, to 'go gender lines' on ya!). i'd hoped to open a convo. nope. one gal posted that that wasna her experience, another gal posted that it was. end of convo. go figger.

yet, its also got me thinkin - kinda 'contrary wise' - well then, in this uber PC sensitive whirld we live in, how does one go about .... romance, procreation (when ya get rite down to it), is FLIRTING allowed any more? ok, its a valid argument that those things have no place in the schools, or workplace, but REALLY?! is that ever likely to happen? i s'pose ASKING - is it ok if i flirt w/ ya? is now a needed thing. & wheres the line tween acceptable vs unacceptable flirtations, &, &, &......

i do choose to believe that in the larger pix, this movement is a positive, rather than a neg. - & back to dewdrops point, im anxiously waiting for (more) men to step forward, cuz dewds rite - its NOT a gender issue!!! & until these falsities, these myths are busted, until ALL victims/survivors - regardless of gender - are offered Safe Space, methinks society'll be slow to really change. this hasta be an ongoing convo, one i *hope* that .... altho im loathe to add more 'behavior laws' (which are highly unenforceable), i DO wanna see the removal of any statute of limitations on sexual crimes.

i probly have lots more to say/thots on this, but ive ranted enuff for one post.

{{{{ALLA US!!!!}}}}

[there]

reisha,
I appreciate you posting your experiences endpoint of view, like that of everyone who has posted here.
I guess I just didn't want to be completely silent about it. Also, I think it's pretty hard to not be affected by it because it's so prevalent and continuous.

Thank you, Harmony, iwt, Dewdrop, reisha for your perspectives. Dewdrop, you didn't hijack my thread. I started it so anyone could say what they felt or thought.

I don't have any personal resolution about how I feel about it all, but all the input has sure helped me feel not so alone with it in 3D.