Yesterday was the first time ever that i shared part of my story with anyone apart from my therapist.
Initially i felt relief but then this turned into anxiety.. alot of anxiety... i am trying to be gentle and understanding with all the parts of me but somehow seing the words written here makes it feel more real. You see most of the time i live in denial in order to cope. I do want to heal yet i am terrified..
Anxiety following sharing of part of my story
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Re: Anxiety following sharing of part of my story
Hi Owls,
I can relate to everything you've just said. Denial was definitely one of my main coping mechanisms. Just take it slow, and go easy on yourself. No one here will ever judge you.
With care,
Serenity
I can relate to everything you've just said. Denial was definitely one of my main coping mechanisms. Just take it slow, and go easy on yourself. No one here will ever judge you.
With care,
Serenity
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Re: Anxiety following sharing of part of my story
Serenity
Thank you for your gentle words
Thank you for your gentle words
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Re: Anxiety following sharing of part of my story
Dear owls,
Sorry for the reverberations after telling. It does ease over time. Does it help to know everyone here has their own story of pain hurt? Maybe not. You have now opened the daylight on something dark and hidden.
First the initial reaction of shame must heal. Remember that the shame is NOT yours to hold. The shame belongs to the abusers. It belongs to each and every person that did harm to us as kids. The kids don't hold the blame. Please turn the shame light on those who deserve it. You were an innocent. Someone took advantage of your innocence and vulnerability. Now you are taking back your life.
Go owls, go!
It is your turn to heal now.
Take all the time you need to wrap your head around this.
Please be gentle with yourself.
with care,
Harmony
Sorry for the reverberations after telling. It does ease over time. Does it help to know everyone here has their own story of pain hurt? Maybe not. You have now opened the daylight on something dark and hidden.
First the initial reaction of shame must heal. Remember that the shame is NOT yours to hold. The shame belongs to the abusers. It belongs to each and every person that did harm to us as kids. The kids don't hold the blame. Please turn the shame light on those who deserve it. You were an innocent. Someone took advantage of your innocence and vulnerability. Now you are taking back your life.
Go owls, go!
It is your turn to heal now.
Take all the time you need to wrap your head around this.
Please be gentle with yourself.
with care,
Harmony
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Re: Anxiety following sharing of part of my story
Dear Harmony
Holding onto your words to comfort the little ones inside
There is so much shame and blame..
I want so much to get everything out and now that we have started to write our story the compulsion to share is intense and overwhelming so is the terror of not being heard.
Waiting for responses to the sharing of our stories is terrifying... i almost want to delete what was written but i restrain myself because i am desperate to heal from all of this.
Thank you for your validation and caring
Holding onto your words to comfort the little ones inside
There is so much shame and blame..
I want so much to get everything out and now that we have started to write our story the compulsion to share is intense and overwhelming so is the terror of not being heard.
Waiting for responses to the sharing of our stories is terrifying... i almost want to delete what was written but i restrain myself because i am desperate to heal from all of this.
Thank you for your validation and caring
Last edited by Owls on Mon Dec 11, 2017 6:42 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Anxiety following sharing of part of my story
I too can relate. I am still so embarrassed and scared to share my story. I too feel that if I hold it inside it did not happen. Unfortunately, I have found that it does not work that way. The truth is eating me up, and I often feel so alone. Thank you for posting. It helps to know I am not alone.
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Re: Anxiety following sharing of part of my story
Dear Ernnie
I am glad that my words resonated with you and maybe feel a little comforted and less alone.
I am glad that my words resonated with you and maybe feel a little comforted and less alone.