Just saying Hello

[onestepatatime]

Hi! I am new to the forum, and new to the whole "adult survivor of abuse" community. I am 20 years old, a law student, and am just beginning to accept that what I went through was abuse. I guess right now that's the hardest part for me, believing that my pain is justified when my "abuse" was just emotional and neglect, so does it really count? My therapist says it does, and I am trying to believe her but it is difficult. My mom is a good person, I think and I don't think she ever meant to hurt us. She had it way worse as a child anyway, so maybe this was just the best she could do? I don't really know. I've been reading but can't really find stories like mine, my mom is disabled and after she became disabled when I was around 8 she became neglectful and emotional abusive. I had to care for all my other siblings, cooking, cleaning, yet it was still my fault the house wasn't clean. I had to cheer her up and be her emotional support 24/7. The house was disgusting and she started hoarding animals, yet that was also somehow my fault. I left the home to start college right after turning 16, graduated at 18, started work and then just started law school a semester ago. I am "successful" I guess, so I am lucky. But I also hate myself, always, with every fiber of my being. I am annoying, unlikable, a control freak, and pretentious. I don't really know why I joined the forum besides to try and connect with people with similar histories, I am in therapy and I just want to get better; but I don't know how.

[Serenity]

Welcome to isurvive, onestepatatime. I hope that you'll find lots of care and support here.

Serenity

[Ashia]

Hi onestepatatime

Welcome to isurvive. This is a safe place to ask questions and share experiences with others who understand. I know it is so easy to compare yourself to other people but try not to if you can. Everyone's hurt is legitimate. There's no hierarchy here.

I hope you find here the support and caring you are looking for.
Ashia

[recover]

hello onestepatatime,
welcome. it is good to meet you. i am so sorry for all you have been through.
good to hear you are in therapy and good you found us. you deserve all the support available.
with caring,
recover

[Jonesy]

Hi onestepatatime

A warm welcome from me too

[ajei]

It's good to meet you onestepatatime.

ajei