Hi! Since we can't use our actual names (and my screen name is a little long), you can call me Pixie. I'm a 30 year old biological female that has experienced what I've come to realize was ritualized sexual, emotional, psychological, physical, and dietary abuse from the age of 3 until I was 14. My abusers were my mother, my aunt, my grandmother, and my great grandmother. After some urging by some lifelong friends (as well as a considerable amount of frustration from a psychiatrist disguised as a therapist), I've come to isurvive to share my story, to talk with other survivors about coping mechanisms, and to try to understand why the things that happened to me... happened at all.
In general, I try to keep a chipper outlook on life to the point where I've been referred to as "annoyingly perky". I have 3 dogs, one of which is still a puppy. I'm happily married to a sweetie bear of a guy who came from an abusive home as well. We do not have any children due to both of us being rendered infertile from our childhood traumas. I am a housewife for a number of reasons: 1) I sometimes panic when I'm out in public to the point of hyperventilating, 2) our 2 family house has a number of "quirks" that need to be repaired and I have the ability to do them (I changed out a kitchen sink, redid the upstairs porch, and a few other things), and 3) I had a few positive homebody figures later in my life and I always wanted to be a homemaker (or homesteader). Random other note, my husband and I rebuild 70s style motorcycle choppers. He taught me how to ride and it has given me a sense of freedom that I never thought I'd be able to experience.
When it comes to talking about my past, I tend to have a difficult time opening up about things right away. However, if I am asked a question, I will answer it as truthfully as I am able. This weird coping mechanism lets me disclose things that have happened, as well as my emotions concerning them, without inducing a panicked response. So, ask away!
Willing to talk for the first time
Moderators: Harmony, quixote, Jonesy
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Willing to talk for the first time
Last edited by Jonesy on Wed Mar 22, 2017 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Changed MT to NT
Reason: Changed MT to NT
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Re: Willing to talk for the first time
hello {PIXIE!} <-- safe hugs, if ok (?)
sorry to know what ya've been thru, that ya have need to be here, but so glad ya found us. this is a safe & caring community. theres no pressure - take things at yer own speed.
welcome to our safe lil corner of the web
i look forward to gettin to know ya
sorry to know what ya've been thru, that ya have need to be here, but so glad ya found us. this is a safe & caring community. theres no pressure - take things at yer own speed.
welcome to our safe lil corner of the web
i look forward to gettin to know ya
Last edited by Harmony on Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT
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Re: Willing to talk for the first time
Hi pixie,
What a pleasure to meet someone who copes with upbeat. Many of us survivors do similarly. (Jonesy I am winking at you) Cheerfulness is useful to a point. Glad that you get to be a homebody since it sounds like you are gifted in fixing and repair. I am similarly but oppositely gifted in the art of breaking stuff and forgetting to tell my dear husband. I forget things often as it was my way of coping through childhood.
No questions for you just a welcome to the site. Remember to post details of any story behind the privacy protection of non-publicly displayed forums. This one Open Forum is viewable by the public passing by. I don't know how you feel about things but to me that is a biggie.
Nice to meet you. Post away to your heart's content!
with care,
Harmony
What a pleasure to meet someone who copes with upbeat. Many of us survivors do similarly. (Jonesy I am winking at you) Cheerfulness is useful to a point. Glad that you get to be a homebody since it sounds like you are gifted in fixing and repair. I am similarly but oppositely gifted in the art of breaking stuff and forgetting to tell my dear husband. I forget things often as it was my way of coping through childhood.
No questions for you just a welcome to the site. Remember to post details of any story behind the privacy protection of non-publicly displayed forums. This one Open Forum is viewable by the public passing by. I don't know how you feel about things but to me that is a biggie.
Nice to meet you. Post away to your heart's content!
with care,
Harmony
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Re: Willing to talk for the first time
Thank you for the welcome!
Reisha, hugs are always welcome!
Harmony, I'm the same way with forgetfulness. I have at least a dozen projects that I've left half completed, though nothing major. It hasn't been until the past decade that I realized that everything that happened to me was wrong. I have learned to find happiness where I am and practice meditation daily to fight both my temper and my potential for excessive violence. I've taken self discipline to heart. The only exception is food (). I love to cook, can, process, and create delicious food that makes my chosen family content, which is really the only goal I strive for in life.
Reisha, hugs are always welcome!
Harmony, I'm the same way with forgetfulness. I have at least a dozen projects that I've left half completed, though nothing major. It hasn't been until the past decade that I realized that everything that happened to me was wrong. I have learned to find happiness where I am and practice meditation daily to fight both my temper and my potential for excessive violence. I've taken self discipline to heart. The only exception is food (). I love to cook, can, process, and create delicious food that makes my chosen family content, which is really the only goal I strive for in life.
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Re: Willing to talk for the first time
Welcome, pixie.
Sorry for the reasons, but glad you are here.
Serenity
Sorry for the reasons, but glad you are here.
Serenity
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Re: Willing to talk for the first time
Hi thispixiechick
A warm welcome to isurvive
A warm welcome to isurvive
You are important
Email: jonesy@isurvive.org
Email: jonesy@isurvive.org
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Re: Willing to talk for the first time
Hi pixie, it's really good to meet you.
ajei
ajei