Hello

An area for new members to introduce themselves, as well as a place where all members can share concerns, questions or general posts.
Everyone is welcome here.

Moderators: quixote, Harmony, Jonesy

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Pineforest
Member
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2017 1:45 pm

Hello

Post by Pineforest » Sun Aug 13, 2017 1:27 pm

A midlife-crisis is usually about the gap between where you are and where you imagined you'd be. For me it also turned into a large gap between where I thought I had been and what my story really was.

Now in my 40's I am in a lot of confusion as to who I am and where I am going. I have lived without the full register of emotions, a lot of them muted and I have numbed myself with alcohol. In many settings I have been an "asshole" as I have not been able to connect emotionally with pepole and I have been unable to build good relations to others as I have been emotionally unavailible.

I had a trickle of memories coming to me during spring that both turned my world upside down and made everything logical although very painful. I have gone from being depressed or anxious to very sad, angry and sometimes suicidal. I am in a very lonely position and I battle with the truth.

For me it was my mother and possibly my father. I confronted her with it in June and they responded by sending a letter to the child welfare authorities claiming I was mentally unstable with delusions unfit to take care of my daughters.

Yesterday I confronted my mother again and this time she replied "I have been wondering if you were sexually abused by someone since you have been so uneasy. It might have been one of your nannys".

My mother is a Sociopath and a child abuser, she has strong connections and controls my father, my ex-wife, my sister and to some extent my brother. I am reading Mike Lew's "Victims no more" and I will begin therapy for a possible PTSD later this month, I have also joined a support group. I came across this forum and I join with a hope that I can both give and recieve some support.

wabbit
Member
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2017 7:15 pm

Re: Hello

Post by wabbit » Sun Aug 13, 2017 1:36 pm

Good for you!

I'm glad you found your way here. And that you are finding clarity and courage.

Pineforest
Member
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2017 1:45 pm

Re: Hello

Post by Pineforest » Sun Aug 13, 2017 3:29 pm

Read your post Wabbit and it reminds me of what a co-worker said. He was beaten and his father committed suicide when my friend was in his 20's. He said it comes and goes in waves, the process of healing. My benefit is that I can (and have) placed responsibility in a face to face situation. My friend wrote a letter which he dug into the grave of his late father.

Harmony
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3920
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:10 pm

Re: Hello

Post by Harmony » Sun Aug 13, 2017 4:48 pm

Welcome pineforrest,

Glad you found our community here at isurvive. Glad you found us. Hope you find support and company for healing.

with care,
Harmony

Jonesy
Director
Director
Posts: 10360
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 1:44 pm

Re: Hello

Post by Jonesy » Sun Aug 13, 2017 5:38 pm

Hi Pineforest

A warm welcome to isurvive
You are important
Email: jonesy@hush.com

1000miles
Member
Posts: 451
Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2017 6:19 am

Re: Hello

Post by 1000miles » Sun Aug 13, 2017 6:03 pm

Hello Pineforest,

I can relate to aspects of your situation. I too lived an emotionally muted life for years, and I had serious social and relationship problems stemming from issues caused by my childhood. (I'm still working on many of those issues.) Glad you're here.

1000miles

wabbit
Member
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2017 7:15 pm

Re: Hello

Post by wabbit » Sun Aug 13, 2017 9:37 pm

Pineforest, thanks for that. Comes in waves, there is comfort in that realization.

ajei
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 3330
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2012 1:50 am

Re: Hello

Post by ajei » Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:13 am

It's really good to meet you Pineforest.

ajei

Pineforest
Member
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2017 1:45 pm

Re: Hello

Post by Pineforest » Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:16 pm

Thank you all! You were my first stepping stone. I have explained everything to my boss, made a public statement about my abused childhood on FB and sent an application for compensation to victims of violence by the State. Tomorrow I will report my parents to the Police. This website and Mike Lews book "Victims no more" made the snowball start on its path downhill. It will become an avalanche.
Last edited by Harmony on Wed Aug 16, 2017 4:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited trigger indicator from MT to NT

Xanthia
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 1586
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 1:20 am

Re: Hello

Post by Xanthia » Wed Aug 23, 2017 7:10 am

Hi Pineforest,

You've made many changes. I wish you very well regarding compensation, etc.


Welcome to iSurvive and may you find the support , peace and understanding you deserve.

Warm regards,
Xanthia

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